Past or Present
by WannabeGallagher
Summary: Cammie ran away from school and she woke up in a hospital with no idea what had happened to her. She hasn't just forgotten her Summer, she's forgotten her whole life. She no longer knows the life she was born into and when she starts Roseville High School by demand of her foster parents who aren't who she thinks they are, she realises normal really is overrated... and dangerous.
1. New Day

**A/: I'm sorry to the people who are waiting for me to update my other stories but I just had to get this one out, I'm still working on my other stories too though, I haven't just abandoned them.**

**This chapter is kind of a filler chapter/introduction… I don't even know whether to carry on with this story but I know if I do it will get better so please review and let me know what you think of this idea and concept and whether I should continue.**

**Enjoy!**

'Cammie darling, hurry up please I need to get to work!' My mom called from downstairs.

'Coming mom!' I sighed at my reflection in the mirror. I applied a little more bronzer to my pale skin and groaned inwardly at how my skinny jeans showed just how skinny I really was. I'd been having the dreams again and the dark circles under my eyes showed it. It was my first day at a new school, I was meant to look pretty, and I was meant to look normal.

I jumped down the stairs, grabbing a cereal bar from the cupboard.

'Cammie!' My mom scolded as she ran around picking up her things for work. 'You're far too skinny; you need to have a proper breakfast!'

I groaned, would my mom ever stop nagging me? I grabbed a carton of full fat milk from the fridge and guzzled it down straight from the carton.

Mom rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

I glanced at the clock, my mom still had ten minutes before she left for work, it was amazing how she seemed to keep track of time, and she would never be late.

'Mommmm' I started. My mom glanced up sharply as she made herself a cup of tea. 'Can you tell me more about the day you found me?'

The cup in her hand began to shake and she sat down roughly at the bar stool.

'You already know all about it darling' she smiled a false smile that indicated the conversation was over.

'But you never speak about it _properly_!' I pushed on.

'Cammie!' she snapped, but then her face relaxed again as she sipped at her tea. 'I guess I could give you a… few more details' she spoke carefully as if she were considering every word.

I smiled up at her, indicating I was listening; the cereal bar was poised in my hand, forgotten.

'It was November when I was visiting New York hospital; I'd been visiting all the children's wards giving out gifts like I do every month. They told me there was one ward that I couldn't visit because the girl in there was in such a delicate state' She paused as if the sheer thought of it was too distressing. 'Naturally I wanted to know what was wrong with the girl and the hospital told me she'd been recovered from a convent, she'd received such a strong hit to the head that she'd lost her memory' My mom paused again and I absentmindedly ran my hand over the tiny lump on my head that was by now just a faded bruise. 'They told me the girl in there had only just survived, they said she didn't remember anything, I mean obviously you remembered how to add up, you remembered your times tables and you remembered what a verb was, but you had no idea who you were, what you had done, were you'd been' She sighed. 'The only thing you remembered about yourself is that your name is Cammie, and we think that's short for Cameron'

I was listening so intently, trying to pick out any tiny detail that might help me remember, but my mom was wording it so well that she wasn't giving much away.

'I finally persuaded them to let me visit, along with your dad Frank. You were sulking, saying you just wanted to go home, but you were so ill. You were all bone and unbearably pale. You wouldn't talk to any of the nurses' she smiled suddenly. 'Only us. You had nowhere to go, no life to lead and so… well… you know the rest'

'Tell me anyway' I commanded, I loved hearing this part of the story, about how my mom and dad saved me.

'They were going to send you to an orphanage but we told them we would adopt you. We had never even looked after a child before so naturally they were very cautious. Frank had a record because of some silly fight he got in at sixteen so it was hard to persuade them… but we did. We wanted you to fit into our life as naturally as possible; we didn't want you to feel like an outsider. So we moved into the small town of Roseville. We told you to stop calling us Catherine and Frank and to call us mom and dad. We took you in as our own' she smiled at the happy ending.

I just frowned. I wasn't sure why but something about the story had never made sense to me… I mean, they thought I'd been on a school field trip and fallen off a mountain… I was sure I would never be that careless. And why would my parents never come and get me.

'So what about my parents… I mean…'

'Your parents were worthless!' mom spat. 'We have reason to believe they committed suicide, anyway, I'm late for work, have a good day first day at school!' she cried before dashing out of the door.

I sighed. She would never speak about my parents properly. Maybe they were worthless; maybe they were a waste of time.

Still I should be thankful, she'd always been truthful with me, she'd never lied and she would give me counselling once a week to try to help me remember, she seemed to think a memory of a circus with names would help… but I could never remember, it made my head hurt to think about it, like I had some kind of mental block.

'Bye Cammie!' My dad called from the door.

'Bye dad!' I replied as I ran up the stairs to get my school things.

My dad usually kept out my way. I had a feeling my mom had some kind of hold over him; it was like he was scared to come near me encase he said the wrong thing. Still, I didn't let myself dwell on it as I picked up my new school bag.

They'd brought me so much stuff since I'd been living here, I wasn't sure what their jobs were but I knew they made _a lot _of money. I never asked for much but they swamped me with gifts, almost as if they were scared I'd run away, but I never would… or could, because my mom never let me out the house except recently she'd agreed I could go to school but I would have to be back as soon as it finished.

I pulled a hairbrush through my hair; suddenly realising I still had an hour until school started. That was another weird thing about me. I always knew the time, almost like I had an internal clock.

I decided to get dressed up a little more; after all it was only your first day of school once.

I was finally happy with my appearance as I glanced in the mirror one last final time before I began the walk to the school that was only two blocks away.

'Hello, I'm Cammie Goode, I'm new here' I smiled at the receptionist who didn't return it but instead looked like she was fighting back a yawn.

'Oh yes, your mother Catherine Goode enrolled you right? You're new in town?' She asked as if she couldn't really care less.

'Yes' I replied.

'Right, here's a map and your timetable. Have fun' she smirked as if she knew I would hate it here.

'Thanks' I replied coldly as I glanced at the map. For some reason I found it easy to navigate around and the corridors that already felt like home to me, I had a feeling I'd always been good at navigation.

I found my locker easily and quickly shoved in my laptop that my mom had demanded I take but I was certain I wouldn't need.

'Hello' a friendly voice came from behind me and I turned on my heel quickly.

'Hi?' I questioned at a boy around my age that was standing staring at me. His mouth was hanging open.

'I… I got told to come and find you… our teacher thought you had maybe gotten lost… and… do I know you? What's your name?' He asked uneasily.

I wondered if all boys were like this and if they were all so… observing.

'I don't think you know me… I'm new here' the boy relaxed slightly as I spoke.

'Sorry, you remind me of someone I used to… know… her name was Cammie though and she had a deeper voice and a different accent… and she looked different and… yeah… you just look similar' He stammered on, clearly embarrassed by his mistake. 'Oh and I'm Josh'

'Nice to meet you Josh' I smiled. 'My name is actually Cammie… but you must be mistaken… I'm sure Cammie is a very popular name'

'Of course…' Josh replied, not looking convinced and still staring at me as if I were the last piece of the puzzle he couldn't figure out.

'So… are you taking me to class then or…' I asked politely, trying not to squirm under his stare.

'Oh, of course!' He stuttered, suddenly drawing his eyes away from me and replacing his frown with a smile.

We walked along the corridors in an uncomfortable silence, both our minds in some kind of over drive.

I would never admit it to him but it worried me how he thought he'd recognised me and guessed my name. I was sure it was a coincidence but it was odd knowing that someone might have known me in my past life. I shook my thoughts away and cleared my mind as I entered class.

'What took you so long?' An old woman huffed from behind her desk.

'I'm sorry, it took me a while to find her, she was lost' Josh lied easily.

I nodded in agreement as the woman turned to stare at me.

'I'm Miss Steer, and you are?' She asked in the manner of someone who just wants to get the introductions over with and carry on with her lesson.

'I'm Cammie' I said shyly as I noticed the whole class staring at me.

'Take a seat next to DeeDee, you'll find it hard to catch up so just listen and answer these questions when you feel ready' She passed me a sheet of paper covered with hundreds of questions and then I took my seat next to a pretty blonde girl.

'Hi, I'm DeeDee' She said excitedly, ignoring the look from Miss Steer that was a clear indicator for her to shut up.

'Cammie' I replied in a whisper as I glanced down at the paper full of questions.

DeeDee gasped. 'My friend is called that too!' She replied gleefully. 'I didn't realise it was a common name'

'Me either' I replied a little coldly, annoyed that all these people were confusing me with someone else.

Josh was sat with another boy in front of me. I didn't like the look of him.

I tried to ignore DeeDee's chatter and gave simple answers in reply to her questions as I began listening into the conversation in front of me. Thanks to DeeDee though I only heard sections of it.

'No, the Cammie we know goes to that Gallagher Academy'

'But they look similar'

'No they don't, shut up Dillan!'

I then tuned out as their conversation turned to baseball.

'And so me and Josh have been dating almost a year now and…' I sighed as DeeDee continued to drool over her boyfriend Josh.

'Woah! Cammie! How did you do that!' She suddenly blurted out much to the annoyance of Miss Steer who was in the middle of talking about the best states in America.

I glanced at DeeDee who was staring shocked at my page. I looked at it too and dropped my pen in shock which I didn't even know had been in my hand. My page had been filled in; all the questions were answered flawlessly with paragraphs of text that I didn't even know I could write. The answers were things I didn't even realise I'd known.

Miss Steer stormed over to us, obviously ready to tell DeeDee off until she noticed my page.

'Have you done this exercise before?' Miss Steer asked accusingly.

'No!' I replied quickly. It was the truth… I thought.

'Then how did you know all this? This is all advanced stuff, we shouldn't even be learning this until next year'

For some reason I had the feeling I'd learnt it years ago, the answers had come so naturally to me that it was almost like it was engraved in my brain. Almost like the questions had been easy, the kind of thing you learn in the eighth grade.

I shrugged. 'I must have seen it on the news or something' I lied.

Miss Steer was slowly recovering from the shock. 'Right, you can have an extra hard homework sheet to do for the next History class then'

She walked back to the front of the class and continued her lecture rather shakily.

DeeDee didn't talk to me anymore after that. She just seemed to stare at me much like everyone else in the class. I was thankful I had some time to think properly. I'd just filled in a whole sheet of questions I hadn't known the answer too. I'd started writing with a pen I didn't know I was holding. I had things in my mind that I didn't realise I had access too. Either this was some kind of déjà vu or I was losing my mind. I decided on the second option.


	2. Recognition

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I read them all and take them all into account.**

**I had a good question from someone which I'm sure a lot of you are thinking and it was: 'Why did Catherine move to Roseville if she knows people will recognise Cammie?'**

**Well, that is a good question, but I can't answer it yet because there is a specific reason which would ruin the story if I told you, however there is a little reason I can tell you and that is that Cammie has changed so much that Catherine was prepared to take the risk to get what she wants… and what she wants I can't tell you… but you'll know soon enough!**

**Please read & review, thank you!**

As soon as the bell rang to signify the end of class I leapt out of my seat, fumbling with the sheets of paper I'd been given and stuffing them into my new school bag.

I dashed down the corridor before anyone could catch me up, not that they would want to of course, I was the new girl after all, the girl no one quite knew. They didn't realise how unknown I really was though… even to myself.

'Hey, Cammie, wait up!' Someone yelled through the corridor. I sped up.

Suddenly an arm rested on my shoulder. I jumped.

'Hey Cammie! I was calling you back there!' Josh panted.

'Oh sorry, I didn't hear you' I lied, forcing myself to slow down so that Josh could keep up. I hadn't realised how fast I could walk before today, it was almost like I was trained to be quick, to run away from people. I shook the thought out of my head.

'Wow, you really do look like someone I used to know' Josh breathed and I noticed him studying me again.

I turned on my heel to face him. 'Look Josh, I told you, I moved here from New York, I lived there my whole life, and you don't know me!' People were turning to stare as I raised my voice and Josh was staring wide eyed at me. I forced myself to lower my voice and my voice was almost a whisper as I repeated '_You don't know me'_

Josh shook his head like he was trying to get what had just happened out of his mind.

'I'm sorry Josh' I sighed, feeling a little guilty.

'No I'm sorry, I'm being stupid' Josh grinned.

'Anyway, I was trying to tell you back there that you were going the wrong way, we have sport next and the changing rooms are down there' He pointed to a corridor in the opposite direction.

'Oh' I sighed. 'Thanks'

I followed Josh down the hall, realising maybe I wasn't as coordinated as I thought.

I walked into the girl's locker room, annoyed that everyone was already changed. I changed quickly while DeeDee chatted away to me; she seemed to have forgotten my suddenly weird moment of intelligence earlier.

'Wow, you've got such an amazing figure' DeeDee breathed and I self-consciously turned my back to her.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to stare, it's just, you really have, how do you get so toned? It's like you've been doing workouts for the whole of your life!'

I pulled on my sports t-shirt. 'I'm not really sure' I shrugged. 'I think I'm too skinny'

DeeDee's eyes almost popped out of her head. 'How can you be _too_ skinny?' cried DeeDee, clearly excited that she was finally learning something about me.

I shrugged again and was thankful when the teacher walked in and told us we would be doing fencing.

DeeDee groaned beside me. 'I absolutely _hate _sport! Are you good at fencing?'

'I'm not sure, I've never done it before' I admitted.

DeeDee's eyes did the whole popping out of her head thing again but she didn't question me.

'Cammie, you can pair up with Josh, he can teach you the basics' Mr Groves the teacher told me.

'Okay' I agreed.

'I've done this before, I hate to brag but I'm kind of the fencing champion of this school' Josh stated proudly.

'Nice one' I grinned as Josh talked me through the basics of fencing. I found myself actually getting bored, like I'd heard it all before.

'I think I've got it now Josh' I interrupted.

Josh looked shocked. 'But I'm only half way through the rules'

'It's fine, I think I understand' I replied, taking my position and pulling the mask over my head.

Josh seemed wary as he pulled the mask over his own head. 'I'll go easy on you since you've never done this before'

'Thanks' I nodded.

We took our positions, Josh appearing quite shocked that I knew the correct way to start.

We started and for some strange reason I wasn't in a hall full of shouts and screams as people fenced around us anymore… I was in some kind of barn; it was silent as our swords began to clash. I looked down at my hand holding my sword and gasped as I saw some kind of familiar pattern on it, a kind of crest, almost like two shields put together.

I dropped it in shock, at the same time I snapped back to the school hall.

'I just scored a point' I heard Josh state proudly. 'You should never drop your sword though'

I continued to stare down at the sword absentmindedly, trying to picture the crest I'd just seen in the weird little hallucination I'd just had. But it had gone; I could hardly remember it now, and the handle of the sword on the floor was plain.

'Cammie… are you okay?' Josh asked worriedly.

'Yeah sorry… I was miles away' I shrugged as I picked up the sword again, sweat beginning to gather on my forehead that had nothing to do with the exercise.

I wasn't sure what was going on… what I'd just seen. I decided it must have been a flash back, my mom had always said I might remember things when something jogged my memory but she said it was probably irrelevant unless I could remember the circus and the names, that was all she said I should try to remember.

I tried to think about the crest but it was getting further and further away in my mind and now it was nothing more than a blur. I knew I had been in a barn with some mats around. Maybe it had been my old classroom?

I decided not to dwell on it. After all there hadn't really been many clues in there about my old life, just the fact that I may have done fencing before and that my old school had a symbol that looked like a shield and a sports classroom that was a barn with mats. I decided I wouldn't tell my mom, it was nice to finally know that I knew something about my past life that she didn't.

'… I didn't… hurt you did I?' Josh asked guiltily and I realised I must have just been standing still just staring into the distance for about a minute now.

'No of course not, sorry, let's go again' I said eagerly.

We began again. I stared at my sword, my mind not really concentrating on what I was doing as I willed myself to have another flash back. But it wasn't happening.

'Wow, what a round!' Someone suddenly cried from behind me.

I blinked stupidly before I realised where I was and that I'd been too busy thinking to realise what I was doing.

I stared shocked at Josh on the floor.

'That was a great round; looks like you've got some competition Josh!' Mr Groves cried.

I ran over to where Josh was sat on the floor and helped him up.

'Are you okay?' I asked urgently.

'Of course' Josh shook himself. 'Wow… No one's ever beaten me before…'

'I… I beat you?' I questioned.

Josh looked at me like I was mad… which I kind of was. 'Of course you did, you went at it like a pro!'

'Oh… of course…' I repeated his words.

I really was going mad. I answer questions I didn't know the answers too. I beat someone at fencing when I'd never fenced before. I needed to get out of here and think.

'Do you want another round?' Josh asked, kind of hesitantly I noted. I kind of guessed that he didn't like being beaten.

'No it's fine, we only have five seconds until the bell goes' I told him as I quickly took off the mask and Josh stared at me puzzled as the bell went off right on queue.

'How did you know that?' Josh gasped. 'There's no clock in here!'

'Lucky guess' I shrugged as I ran into the changing room. I dressed in record time and got out of the changing rooms even before any of the boys were done.

'Cammie!' Someone called behind me. I contemplated making a run for it but realised I couldn't use the excuse of not hearing whoever it was in an empty corridor.

'Oh hello Mr Groves' I turned to see him approaching me.

'Hi Cammie, I wondered if I could ask you something… I know you've only just got here but…'

'What is it?' I asked impatiently, desperate to get away to my next class before I saw Josh.

'Well we have a fencing club and it would be great if you could join, you're a natural at fencing, I've never seen anything quite like it, we practise once a week starting tonight after school if you're interested…'

He trailed off waiting for my response. I could tell he was the type of man who wouldn't take no for an answer.

'Sure' I shrugged, I was sure my mom would be fine if I was only a few hours late home, she'd understand.

'Great, see you later' Mr Groves confirmed.

I had a quick glance at my time table, happy I was finally able to get away from Josh, but then my heart sank when I saw the little box marked 'Lunch'.

I sighed as I stuffed the timetable into my jeans pocket and made my way to the grand hall for lunch.

I walked around in circles, trying to find some sign that indicated the grand hall.

'Hey!' I saw DeeDee come up beside me.

'Hey DeeDee' I sighed. 'Do you know where the Grand Hall is… for lunch?'

She frowned 'Grand Hall?'

'Yes?' I questioned curiously.

'Oh! You mean the food hall?' a look of realisation came over her face.

'Yeah…' I replied cautiously.

'Sorry, we don't call it Grand Hall here' She giggled. 'That's like something you'd find in the Gallagher Academy or some other stupid posh school'

'What's the Gallagher Academy?' I asked curiously despite myself, remembering the conversation between Josh and Dillan earlier about me reminding them of someone from there.

'Oh it's some awfully posh school where rich girls and royalty go' she laughed.

'Oh right' I shrugged. It was probably better than this school.

'Yeah, we all hate them, they act like they own this town' DeeDee laughed.

'Let's go to lunch then' I said desperate to go to lunch and get away from this talk of a school that was probably one hundred time nicer than this dump.

DeeDee watched what I grabbed from the food hatch, mimicking everything I got.

'Do you really keep that figure by eating Crème Brule?' DeeDee asked shocked.

'I don't really try to _keep_ my figure, my mom says I'm too skinny so I have to eat more' I laughed as DeeDee put back the Crème Brule that she'd seen me picking up.

'Let's go sit with Josh and Dillan' DeeDee cried excitedly and I had the feeling she was one of those girls who was able to sit at any table she liked with anyone she wanted without question.

I nibbled at the edge of a lettuce leaf and noticed DeeDee doing the same. I watched with satisfaction as I dug into my Crème Brule and saw her go practically green with envy.

'I'm going to get some crème brule' DeeDee muttered as she walked off. I smiled to myself.

'So… _Cammie'_ Dillan started, putting some kind of cold emphasis on my name.

'Yes, Dillan?' I asked warily. There was something odd about him, almost like he hated me. Which I thought must be impossible considering he didn't even know me.

'So what's your last name?' Dillan asked confidently. I noticed Josh elbow him roughly.

'Goode… Cammie Goode' I replied. I never knew why but the names never sounded right together, almost like I had stolen someone else's name. Of course Goode wasn't my real name, I'd just taken my parents last name because I simply had no idea what mine was.

'Right' Dillan rolled his eyes.

'Anyway' Josh started, quick to change the subject. 'Are you looking forward to fencing later?'

'Of course' I lied easily.

The subject then turned to fencing and my apparently 'natural' talent for it.

The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully. I made sure I didn't let my mind wonder again and so I struggled to learn the names of countries in Geography. I knew the answer was in the back of my mind, I had a feeling I probably knew more about them than the teacher herself did, but I was scared about what I would say or do if I didn't concentrate fully.

French was the same and I found myself struggling with verbs. Still, I would rather have stayed in French for the rest of my life than go to fencing for an hour. Still, maybe it would be… fun.


	3. Liar

**A/N: Thanks for reviews, follows and favourites! **

**Also in reply to a review I got I'm sorry if the story is starting off a little boring but I PROMISE it will get better, like loads better. I just have to set the background before I get into the exciting stuff, bear with me for another chapter please! **

**I'm so excited for the next chapter, it starts to get wayyyyy more interesting and it's really long! I can't wait to post it! Like seriously it's my favourite chapter I've even written, so review and maybe it will go up sooner than I was planning ;)**

'Come on Cammie!' Mr Groves shouted at me across the room. It was no use. I dropped the sword in frustration.

'I don't understand Cammie, you were brilliant earlier, what happened?' Mr Groves demanded impatiently.

'Maybe we should put you with someone more experienced… maybe that will inspire you'

He lead me away from the seventh grader who had won five rounds against me and took me over to one of the Seniors who towered over me. He looked at me like I was a piece of dirt.

'This is Toby' Mr Groves introduced me. 'He's my best fencer; he could be good enough for the Olympics next year'

'Great…' I said my voice trailing off as I saw Toby eye me up and actually yawn.

I pulled the helmet roughly over my face. And we began.

I tried this time, really tried, I wanted to beat this smug idiot but he was in one word amazing.

'Try again' Mr Groves urged as I got beaten for the second time.

I felt my mind wonder again to what I'd tell my mom, I wondered if she'd be mad I was late or happy that I was doing an extra-curricular activity. Maybe a bit of both.

'Perfect!' Mr Groves cried as I snapped back to reality.

Toby was lying flat out on the floor, his arms laid across his chest in defeat.

'Well done Cammie!'

'Urm… thank you' I stuttered, offering Toby my hand. He rudely brushed it aside and turned his back on me.

'Look, I have to go' I told Mr Groves as I removed the suit, grabbed my things, and ran out of the door before he could protest.

I ran straight into Josh.

'Oh you had to leave fencing early too?' Josh questioned. I hadn't even noticed he had been there.

'Yeah, what's your excuse?' I asked.

'Have to go help my mom with her baking' Josh replied bluntly as if he didn't want to talk about it. 'You?'

'Oh well it's my first day and all, I didn't want my mom getting worried if I'm back too late'

'Let me give you a ride home' Josh said suddenly.

I laughed. 'I live two blocks away'

'But it's dark' Josh stated as we walked out the school doors.

I gasped, he was right; the bright blue sky was turning an eerie grey.

'Okay' I nodded thinking that my mom would kill me if I walked back at night on my own. 'Thanks' I added.

'No problem' He told me as he opened the door of a dirty car, the paint peeling off the sides. I pretended not to notice.

'Thanks Josh' I said again as he stopped the car outside my house. I jumped out before he could reply and power walked up to the door.

As soon as I opened the door I heard the shouting.

'Where the hell have you been?!' mom screeched at me, making me jump.

'I've been at school mom?' I replied innocently.

'School finished an hour ago!' She yelled, her spit flying in my face. I'd never seen her so mad before.

'I had a flashback today' I said quickly, desperate to distract her. It worked.

Her face paled and her anger dissolved instantly. 'What did you see?' Her voice didn't come out caring and motherly like I'd hoped. It was demanding and impatient.

'Just a symbol' I shrugged. 'It might have been my old school logo or something'

'No names?' Catherine's fingers dug deeply into my shoulders as she gripped me, forcing me to look her in the eyes. 'Did you remember any names? From the circus?' She asked urgently.

'No…' I replied, the silence seemed deafening, until the slap.

My hand flew up to my cheek, my shock masking the pain at first. Tears sprung to my eyes. Had my mom just hit me? The throbbing pain in my cheek told me she had.

'Catherine! You idiot!' I heard Frank yell. Suddenly though I remembered a time when someone else had slapped me. I was in a dark room, so dark I couldn't make out the faces, but they were questioning me about the circus like my mom just had, they wanted answers, but I wouldn't give them. They slapped me hard around the face.

'Cammie, I'm sorry' Catherine's voice brought me back to reality.

In my past life I'd been hit, in my past life I had been questioned.

I must have run up to my room because the next thing I knew I was sobbing into my pillow.

It made me question everything my mom had told me; maybe I'd been hurt by people rather than falling off a mountain.

I forced myself to remember the reason I was here though, the reason I was still alive was thanks to Catherine, my mom.

'I'm sorry Cammie darling' my mom suddenly walked through the door.

'No I'm sorry mom, I should have told you I was staying at school later'

'Yes you should have' my mom scolded, but then her voice became calm again and she changed back to the person I knew. 'I just worry about you darling, you've been through so much that I just need to keep you safe. I don't want you staying at school late again I want you to come straight back home next time'

'Yes mom' I reassured her.

'Mom…' I started, determined to know more about her and question her while she was in a good mood. 'What do you do for your job?'

I noticed her stiffen.

'Why do you want to know that darling?' She asked with a faint hint of contempt in her voice.

'I made… friends at school and they said their mom did baking for a job, I just wondered what you did'

'Oh really… which friend would this be? I didn't realise you'd made friends?' her voice was turning shrill and I noticed an edge of worry in her voice.

I decided it was safe to tell her; after all it was just a name. 'A guy named Josh' I shrugged.

'Josh?' She asked as if she'd misheard me, but my mom heard everything.

'Yes' I replied.

'Stay away from him Cammie' my mom was suddenly next to me, her hands grabbing my wrists tightly. 'Promise me Cammie!' Her voice was so high I thought she was going to cry… or explode with anger.

'Why?' I questioned, trying to word it carefully so I could get the most information out of her as possible.

'Just… trust me… he's a bad person' She replied curtly.

I laughed suddenly. 'He said he recognised me… but then he dropped it, said he was being stupid'

'He was' My mom suddenly seemed worried again. 'Just don't talk to him Cammie, just don't'

'Okay' I sighed, deciding that by the look of her pale and tight lips it was best not to push her to say any more.

'So what about your job then?' I tried again.

I saw her contemplate what she was going to say and I couldn't tell if it was because she was trying to make up a lie or she didn't know how to say it.

'I work in an office…' she started slowly. 'I look for bad people'

'Kind of like a police officer?' I asked confused.

'A little' she nodded. 'We hunt bad people down and we make sure they never hurt anyone ever again'

'That's good' I nodded approvingly.

My mom smiled. 'Now no more questions get some sleep'

'Night mom' I smiled.

As she walked out I couldn't help but realise that her left eye had been twitching and her breathing had increased. I had no idea how I knew, but she'd been lying.


	4. Bad People

**A/N: Thanks for reviews, follows and favourites! I actually love reading the reviews so much and they really inspire me and help me to write things that you'll like!**

**Thanks to the guest who gave me the flashback idea!**

**Woohoo, I love this chapter, I hope you do too!**

I was in a beautifully warm and welcoming room.

'Macey come help me with this!' I shouted. I had no idea who Macey was, maybe a friend. I was really happy, looking forward to another busy day.

I didn't see her face as I turned to face the girl named Macey with my eyes closed. I wondered what I was doing until I felt the prick of an eyeliner on my eyelid.

'Ouch!' I cried.

'Oh stop moaning' Macey laughed. The laugh melted my heart; the voice was so warming and carefree. This girl obviously didn't have any problems.

'Cammie hurry up!'

I sat up with a start, looking around my room, half expecting the feel of the fluffy rug I'd seen in my flashback, the carefree laugh of the girl, but all I heard was my mom's voice telling me to hurry up.

I got up from the floor, rubbing my head, noticing the large lump in the bridge of my hair line.

I took in the eyeliner poised in my hand and I realised I must have had a flashback but this one had felt more intense than the others, so intense I had passed out on the floor, and hit my head on the way down by the look of it.

'Just another lump on my head to add to the collection' I muttered.

'Cammie! Get down here now!' My mom screeched impatiently

I quickly wiped away the wobbly line of eyeliner gone wrong and rushed out of my room.

'Cammie I'm taking you into school today' my mom told me as I came down the stairs, ready to walk to school.

'Mom, its two blocks away' I sighed.

'I don't care!' My mom seemed totally stressed out, her hand shook as she poured the tea.

'Fine!' I replied defeated.

As we walked out the door she actually held onto my hand, like she thought I was going to get snatched away or something.

'Get in the car quick!' She fumbled around with the keys and shoved me in the car door.

'Mom where's the fire?' I joked. She didn't smile.

'Mom will you just tell me what's going on? You're acting as if I'm going to be kidnapped any minute!' I yelled at her as she rushed into the driver's seat.

She flinched at my words and sat back in her seat breathing deeply as if she had the whole weight of the world on her shoulders.

'I've been keeping in contact with work and they say there's… bad people in the area' My mom's voice shook.

'It's okay mom' I smiled up at her and she relaxed a little. 'I'm perfectly safe'

'I know you are darling' She stroked my hair in that way that I always loved. 'I just want to keep it that way'

She sighed suddenly, lost in thought. 'Maybe I should home school you, find you a tutor…'

'No mom!' I cried indignantly. I couldn't let her think like that, school was the only chance I had to get out of the house.

She suddenly muttered something that I'm sure she didn't mean for me to hear. 'Why the hell did I accept this stupid job?'

'What job mom?' I asked curiously.

'Oh just a… a…' She stuttered, her eyes avoiding mine. 'I'm just talking to myself, we get given separate jobs at my… work… and I just accepted a particularly hard one…'

She eyed me thoughtfully.

'Any flashbacks?' She asked, trying to keep her voice level.

'No' I lied, thinking about the flashback I'd had the other day where I remembered being hit and questioned.

I'd always been a good liar though because my mom simply replied 'Okay darling' but she didn't look happy about it.

'What's so special about this flashback about the circus and names that you want me to remember?' I asked casually.

She froze again. 'Will you stop asking me questions Cameron; you just need to trust me when I say that flashback is important!'

'Why did you just call me Cameron?' I asked suddenly. The name had felt like an electric shock to me. I'd always known that could be my real name but when she'd said it like that it had sparked something inside me.

'I… just… well, that was your full name' Catherine shrugged, her knuckles going white on the steering wheel.

'I think I used to get called that a lot… in my past life…' I shrugged. 'It just sounded strange when you said it'

My mom ignored me. 'Time to get to school' She said suddenly, turning the key in the ignition.

I tried to question her further but she just told me to be quiet because she was concentrating on the road.

It took less than a minute until we reached the school. I rolled my eyes.

'Bye mom' I said hastily, in a hurry to get out of our posh and expensive car that stood out amongst the second hand vehicles that littered the car park.

'Bye darling, _be careful_!' she emphasised.

Eyes turned on me as I got out of the car and began the walk up to the school.

'Hey, nice car, posh girl!' Someone yelled at me.

I carried on walking, my pace speeding up a little.

'Hey Cammie!' DeeDee bounded up to me on my way to the grand hall for lunch.

'Hey DeeDee' I replied a little coldly, not in the mood to chat, but she didn't seem to notice.

'It's Friday!' She cried excitedly.

'Yes it is…' I replied, unsure why she was excited. I guessed normal people looked forward to the weekend but I certainly didn't, it meant two days sat at home doing nothing for me.

'That means at lunch we get to go into town!' DeeDee said, sensing my confusion.

'Oh…' I replied 'Well, I guess we need permission and I don't have permission'

'Oh' DeeDee's face fell as she dropped back a little.

I shrugged to show I didn't really care but then she bounded up beside me again, her pace quickening to keep up with me. 'Let's ask to use the school phone to call your mom, they'll let you go if she says yes!'

I hesitated but DeeDee seemed so eager so I agreed and we went to talk to the headmaster who reluctantly agreed that I could go if my mom told him I could.

I'd been given a number by my mom to call _'only in emergencies'_… I hoped she wouldn't be too mad. But she was.

'Yes, yes, who is this?' Her voice was high and stressed. I guessed she must be having a hard day at work. I could hear voices in the background… almost shouts, it didn't sound much like an office.

'Mom, it's me…' I started.

'Cammie! Are you okay, are you…?' She began questioning me hysterically as if my life depended on it.

After I'd reassured her and explained the situation she became angry and lectured on me about how the emergency line was for emergencies _only._

'So mom, can I go?' I asked her after she'd calmed down and I'd explained the situation.

'No, of course you can't Cammie' She sighed, before I could reply she was speaking again. 'Now I have to go, _stay in school_' she demanded before putting the phone down. I slammed the phone down and hastily apologised to the headmaster for wasting his time.

I shook my head at DeeDee as I came out of the office and her face fell.

'Sorry DeeDee, I guess I'll just go to the lunch hall and…' I paused as a look of pure evil contorted her face.

'Nope, I've got a better idea' DeeDee whispered as she pulled me towards a corridor I'd never seen before.

'No DeeDee' I said, suddenly catching onto her plan. She wanted us to sneak out of school using the back entrance.

I argued with her for about ten minutes but DeeDee won and soon enough we were in the town of Roseville.

'I just need to go and speak to Josh's dad in the pharmacy, I said I'd say hi, I might be a while though, he talks a lot, why don't you go and get us a seat in my favourite café just around the corner' DeeDee told me.

'Sure' I replied and I made my way to the café.

I noticed a few kids my age about, a lot of them I didn't even know and I was sure they weren't from my school. Maybe a school trip I decided as I entered the café and took a seat right in the corner. The café was simply packed. I was practically lost in the crowd even though I was in the corner.

I sat listening to people talk about their everyday life. It was kind of relaxing listening to conversations about the weather and work, but a different conversation caught my attention.

It was going on between a group of girls my age and a single boy. I'd never seen them before so they must go to a different school. The girls were all stunning, one of them I recognised from the front cover of a vogue magazine I'd seen in a shop earlier, and she must have been a model. The boy was the person who kept my attention though, he was tall and broad. I could tell he had large abs by the way his tight t-shirt clung to his perfectly shaped body. I focused on their conversation drowning out the voices of the others around me.

'And so Mr Solomon said he was monitoring the area' the boy started speaking, his voice staying so low that I was surprised I could hear it.

'She won't be in Roseville Zach' a beautiful dark girl sighed.

Zach looked around to check no one was around and said 'Well, Mr Solomon said the…' He paused, obviously not comfortable speaking about it in a crowded place. 'Mr Solomon said the… bad people… have been spotted in Roseville' Zach finished.

'Bad people…' I thought to myself, maybe my mom was doing the same job as this Mr Solomon was doing, maybe they were both hunting down some kind of group of bad people.

Zach suddenly lifted his head and I looked away quickly. I saw his gaze pass over me out of the corner of my eye quickly and then he looked back to the table again, almost as if he hadn't seen me, almost as if I were invisible.

'Let's go' a girl with blonde short hair said suddenly. 'We can't talk here, and we'll be late back to school if we're not careful, we're lucky they let us out at all'

'Defiantly' the model said suddenly. 'I was going mad stuck in school; we don't want to give them an excuse to not let us out again'

The boy suddenly hung his head. 'I thought we would have found her by now… I thought…'

'Not now Zach' the blonde haired girl replied. 'It's not safe to talk here, let's go back and have a look at our notes again, see if we can pick up any more clues about where _she _might have gone'

'Right' the guy called Zach agreed. I watched them leave.

'Well that was weird' I thought to myself as I too grabbed my things, no longer hungry. I wondered what the hell they'd been talking about, surely they were my age, why were they talking about having to find someone like their life depended on it?… and that Mr Solomon guy, he must have the same job as my mom if they were both trying to find 'bad people'.

I tried to get the conversation out of my head, but it was almost like a puzzle to me, like I had all the pieces but I needed to fit them together.

I sighed as I walked out into the fresh air, the sunlight blinding me for a moment until I looked further down the street and saw the same group of people. The boy was standing defensively in front of the girls and I looked in shock as I saw Josh, Dillan and DeeDee standing facing them, obviously having a heated conversation.

I walked a little closer, not wanting to get involved but not wanting to miss out on the action either.

'Oh look, if it isn't the princess' drooled Dillan, his voice a menacing growl.

'Just let us past, we're on our way back to school' The blonde girl squeaked timidly, clearly the weak one of the group.

'Oh really? And what lesson are you having up there? How to give a royal speech?' Dillan laughed but stopped when he realised no one was laughing along with him.

A few other people my age had stopped to look too so I blended in with them, making sure I couldn't be seen, I didn't want to get into any trouble.

'Let's just go' I heard DeeDee whisper urgently as she slipped away from the fight and came to stand with the spectators. Dillian and Josh still stood there.

'Actually, we've got a lesson in kicking ass next!' I heard the model girl say confidently. I envied her confidence and her ability to stand up to them like that. I was certain I noticed Dillan take a step back.

'Well be careful you don't break a nail' Dillan hissed at her.

Suddenly the boy stepped forward; his movement was so swift that he could have glided. He took Josh up in a headlock without any effort.

'Hey! I haven't done anything!' Josh barked, his voice hoarse from the boy Zach's arm crushing his windpipe.

Suddenly the boy was pulled off effortlessly by the girls as if they had seen him do it hundreds of times before, almost as if they were trained to break up fights.

'Just go back to your precious Gallagher Academy' Dillan snarled.

'Gladly' Zach huffed as he stormed off closely followed by the girls who looked like they were trying to calm him down.

The crowd began to disperse and Josh was left in the centre telling off Dillian for being a 'shit stirrer'.

I glanced over at DeeDee who stood on the other side of the street looking a little shaken up.

'Are you okay DeeDee?' I asked her kindly.

'Yes… it's happened before y'know… Dillan arguing with people from Gallagher'

'I can imagine' I said rolling my eyes.

DeeDee smiled. 'He thinks everyone from there is stuck up and horrible but one of my friends is from there… she's Josh's ex-girlfriend but she's really nice and I just wish Dillan wouldn't be so judgemental'

'It's nice that your friends with someone from there' I nodded my approval.

'I hope she's okay… I haven't seen her in ages actually' DeeDee's expression was suddenly filled with worry.

'I bet she's fine!' I reassured her. 'Now let's get back to school before they kill us!'

DeeDee giggled and we chatted all the way back to school. I suddenly felt a great friendliness towards her and her loyalty towards her friends.

'Duck!' I cried suddenly, pushing DeeDee into the shadows of a building.

'What is it?' She hissed at me.

'My mom!' I cried breathlessly.

I watched from the shadows as my mom passed by with a group of people I didn't know except Frank. I hadn't realised they worked together.

'Why are they dressed all in black?' DeeDee giggled. 'It's like _boiling_ out here!'

'I… I don't know…' I stammered as I watched my mom pass by. I held my breath as her eyes darted around, almost as if she were looking for someone to suddenly jump out in front of her. The shadows seemed to conceal us well though because her eyes flickered quickly over us without a second glance.

'She should be at work…' I muttered. But I had a feeling that maybe she was at work, just not in the way I'd expected.

'Is she a police officer or something?' DeeDee questioned curiously.

'I guess you could say that' I muttered.

'What do you mean?' DeeDee frowned.

'Well, I'm not exactly sure what it is she does, I thought she was a police office or worked in an office or something but…' I watched the retreating figure of my mom.

DeeDee's eyes widened. 'So you don't even know what your mom does for a job?'

I shrugged. 'It's never really bothered me I guess; I know she hunts down bad people, that's got to be good right?'

DeeDee nodded. 'Yeah defiantly!' she agreed.

'She doesn't look much like you' Dee commented as we continued to walk back to school.

I shifted about uncomfortably unsure how much I should say, I'd always been cautious about trusting people. I felt like I could trust DeeDee though, she didn't seem to spread gossip around the school.

'You can trust me y'know' DeeDee confirmed.

I sighed deeply and glanced up at the tower clock that read we still had ten minutes until class started.

'It's kind of complicated' I worded carefully, watching DeeDee carefully.

'We've got time' DeeDee said excitedly glancing up at the tower clock too.

'Promise you won't freak out?' I asked her.

'Sure I won't' DeeDee said and she pulled me onto a bench outside the school.

'Well…' I started, suddenly deciding I couldn't tell her how I'd forgotten my whole life, how messed up I was. 'I was adopted from a young age' I worded carefully, watching her gasp. Clearly this kind of stuff didn't happen in the small town of Roseville.

DeeDee gestured for me to continue. I sighed. 'There really isn't much more, my new mom and dad won't tell me anything about my birth parents, they say they're worthless, they might be dead'

'And you believe them?' DeeDee frowned.

I got a bit mad then. 'If my new parents tell me they're bad people then they are' I said defensively.

'I'm sorry' DeeDee breathed. She seemed cautious as she said 'I would find out more about it though, I mean your new parents would have to have adoption certificates and all of that'

'Really?' I asked shocked. They'd never told me that before.

'Of course, maybe you should have a look around the house, in their room maybe?' DeeDee asked.

'Maybe… Maybe I will!' I said suddenly.

DeeDee smiled.

The school day couldn't end soon enough after that. I way dying to get home and search the house.

**IMPORTANT A/N: Okay so I'm a little worried about where to go from here. Do you think I should have Cammie find out about her life soon or would you rather I dragged it out and gave a few more little clues so she finds out more gradually? I have something planned out but I'm worried she's finding out about her past too fast in the next chapter so should I edit and drag it out a little more? It would be great if you could give me your opinion on what you think would be best, and any plot ideas in general would be great! Thanks.**


	5. True Colours

**A/N: Thanks for reviews, follows and favourites! They really helped me with this chapter I now have a better idea of how all the events are going to play out. I don't want Cammie to go back to Gallagher yet, I want to make a big thing out of the reunion and her going back, and it will be hard because she won't remember them… at first ;) but I'm working on it! Also I want to get a bit of action into the next few chapters so watch this space!**

**Also for some reason I seem to have forgotten the disclaimer… so yeah… I don't own The Gallagher Girls, Ally Carter does as if you didn't already know.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

'You're in a good mood' my mom stated as I climbed into the car. I noticed she'd changed her clothes from the black I'd seen her in earlier.

'I had a good day' I shrugged.

'Good' my mom smiled warily.

'How was your day?' I asked suddenly. 'You sounded busy at work, in the office'

'Oh… yes… very' She presumably lied.

As soon as we got home I headed for the stairs, ready to begin staking out the house for answers.

'And where do you think you're going?' My mom's voice echoed around the room. I stopped dead.

'Mom I'm so tired, do we have to do this today?' I sighed.

'Yes!' My mom ordered. 'Now sit'

I fell weakly onto the sofa. My mom and dad sat opposite.

'Ready?' My mom asked.

'I guess' I replied shakily. I hated this so much.

'It won't be so bad this time' my mom said gently.

'Okay' I sighed. 'I'm ready'

I screwed my eyes shut and my mom played the music. It filled the room. It was soft and distant but as it played in my mind it was like playing a record that was scratched, it made me feel sick, it was like the noise of someone scratching nails down a chalk board. I cringed.

'Anything?' My mom asked over the sound of the circus music.

'No mom' I sighed, my head throbbed and I was afraid of throwing up like last time if I opened my mouth again.

'It must stir some kind of memory, I mean you recognise the music, you understand where it's from' she pushed.

I closed my eyes trying so hard to get a memory. I just wanted the memory so that it could be over, so that I could stop having this awful counselling that was supposed to be helping me to remember.

'Why the hell isn't it working Frank?!' My mom shouted hysterically. And then I remembered.

I was in a room, my mom was there and so was Frank. It was dark but I could make out their features. My mom had an evil look on her face.

'Now tell me the names Cammie, tell me the names your Dad died for' she hissed.

Then I saw them, a list of names, I quickly memorised them easily, almost like I was memorising a memory within a memory. It was bazar.

'Let's show her what happens to spies that don't talk' my mom said suddenly and then I was unchained from a wall that I hadn't even realised I'd been on. My hands were red raw, my wrists were sliced open and I was all bone, barely alive.

'No!' I cried out, but earned myself a punch in my stomach… from my mom.

'Cammie, Cammie, you saw something didn't you?' My mom suddenly snapped me back to reality.

'No' I lied. I'd waited for so long for this memory so that I wouldn't have to have counselling anymore, I'd be left in peace, but something was telling me that this wasn't the memory that my mom had thought I'd remember, this one was something that shouldn't be told, something I shouldn't of remembered.

'You were… sleeping for about five minutes! I need those names Cammie, give me those names!'

'I don't know what you're talking about!' I shouted, my eyes pricking with tears.

_My mom tortured me, my dad tortured me, my adoptive parents tortured me._

The slap echoed around the room and I instinctively threw my hand up to my cheek.

'You're mad mom!' I yelled. 'You're mad!' I repeated.

'Wait, Cammie, I'm sorry!' She yelled up the stairs as I ran up to my room.

'Just leave her…' Frank's voice faded into the distance.

'That selfish brat won't tell me the names! She won't…' Her voice faded away as I reached the top of the stairs. But I didn't go into my room.

I slipped into the room next to it. I gasped. I'd never been in my parent's room before. It was… neat.

Bags were neatly packed as if they were getting ready for some kind of quick getaway. I slipped across the room and opened empty draws, searching for anything that would tell me about my past, about all the unanswered questions that flowed freely around my mind. I avoided what I was sure were squeaky floor boards in a way I hadn't thought possible. My head ached like it always did after my weekly counselling sessions but this time it wasn't because they'd been picking apart my memories, it was because I now felt some kind of longing, some kind of attachment to my old life… whatever it had been. I had to know.

I finally gripped a sheaf of papers and drew them out. I flicked through invoices for new cars and houses ranging from places in Ireland to New York, even a house in London. It made me wonder how much of the world I'd seen in my past life, where I'd been, what I'd done. I would never know.

My hand froze on a separate piece of paper that wasn't attached to anything else. It was on a different kind of paper than the rest of the pages. It was like some kind of certificate.

My heart drummed against my chest as I pulled it out. I instantly recognised the logo of the hospital I'd been discharged from in New York. I instantly realised it was counterfeit, I didn't know how, but I knew. The writing was too faded, the ink too wobbly to be official. The names Catherine and Frank Goode were plastered over it, the ink worn and faded.

Suddenly a floorboard creaked behind me and I span wildly on my heel, dropping the paper all over the floor.

'Are you looking for this?' My mom snarled as she held up a piece of paper with the same logo on it that I had seen in my flashback, the shield. I took a step closer but she whipped it behind her back.

She smirked; a look of pure evil contorted her face. 'What if I told you that we weren't hunting the bad people, we are the bad people?'

I suddenly had a feeling I wouldn't be calling her mom anymore.


	6. Breaking Out

**A/N: WOW. That's all I can say about the reviews I've been getting. Just wow. Thank you so so much! Please carry on reviewing it makes my day when I see such lovely comments and ideas! **

**I would love to credit some of the reviewers because I did use inspiration from a lot of your ideas but because I used so many and mixed them up and edited them it's kind of hard so sorry I can't mention you personally but I am really thankful for all the ideas I've been given.**

**I hope you like this chapter… it's a little bit of a filler to lead onto the next chapter but I still hope it's acceptable!**

**Don't worry, Zammie will have its time eventually, just hold on a little longer!**

'Get your hands off of me!' I shrieked as she pulled me along by my hair, I was such a tender head.

'You always were a selfish brat Cammie' Catherine hissed. 'Never appreciative of what you have… or had' she smirked.

'I want to see the paper!' I yelled, seeing it crumpled in her hand. It was crazy that this could hold all the answers, crazy that all I wanted was to see who I was in my past life.

She ignored me and dragged me into my room. I saw her get out a key and lock the windows.

'When will you learn Cammie? You will never find out who you really are! You will always be this pathetic excuse of a daughter!' She growled. I should have felt hurt that my mom could say something like that to me, the woman who had clothed and fed me now hated me… but instead I only felt contempt for her.

'You tortured me' I whispered. It wasn't a question anymore, it was a fact.

'Very clever' she hissed at me. 'As you won't give me the names I'm afraid I'm going to be forced to take you to Rome and then we'll go on a fun little family vacation to Ireland. How fun' she mocked.

'I won't go with you, I'll kick and scream and I won't do what you say!' I yelled obstinately.

Her features stiffened and her eye wasn't twitching. She was telling the truth as she said 'If you don't do what I say, I'll kill your dad'

'He's dead' I replied immediately. 'You told me he was, I remembered…'

'People lie Cammie, if I were you I wouldn't want to risk it, he is your dad after all' She smirked.

She watched with satisfaction as I stood speechless.

'Night Cammie' she mocked before she walked out the door, shutting and locking it behind her.

So many unanswered questioned flooded my mind, too many to list.

One question burned in my mind the most though, more important than the others… Who were my parents and where were they?

I shifted the windows, trying to find one that wasn't locked, but Catherine had done her job well. I collapsed against the window. I was scared. Whether I was living my past or present life it was clear I was in danger.

Whether it was desperation or madness I'm not proud of what I did next.

I grabbed a pair of scissors from my bag and used one of the blades to unscrew the leg of the bed, I felt possessed as I twisted the scissors craftily in my hand as if I had been taught how to do it. I was careful and precise making sure I didn't make any more noise than was necessary.

I was finally able to pull the leg off and without any hesitation I smashed it straight through the window. I didn't stop to pause or think. I just moved and I was instantly brushing away the shards of glass.

I heard shouts and screams from downstairs so I didn't hesitate as I threw myself out the window and waited for the impact.

Pain seared through my body but I didn't stop to register it as I pulled myself out of the flower bed which I was pretty sure saved my life.

I ran. The soil flew off my muddy jeans and my hair whipped around my face. I had no idea where I was going and the pitch black of the night didn't help the situation. I had to rest. My body burned with the impact of the fall and I could no longer see through the pools of tears that clouded my vision. I threw myself against the wall at the side of the house, sinking into the shadows. I knew no one would find me unless I wanted to be found. I was practically invisible when I wanted to be. After all I must have been the only girl in the world whose mom passed her in broad daylight on a street and didn't recognise her.

I stayed concealed in the shadows, getting my breath back and trying to stop the tears falling down my cheeks. I was running away, apparently it wasn't the first time.

I could hear the shouts coming from inside the house still, they were fairly muffled but Catherine was screaming, something you can't help but hear.

'I told you she was in Roseville, I told you!' Another voice was coming along the path. As the person came into view I ducked further into the shadows but I was still able to recognise the boy who was with the girls in the café earlier, the one who'd been involved in the fight between Gallagher and Roseville High. The boy named Zach.

'Calm down Zach, we're not certain… but we'll soon find out' A man came into step with the boy; he was walking strangely, almost as if he were trying to vary his steps. He was absolutely gorgeous; I'd never seen a man so perfect before.

I watched in shock as they stopped outside my house, still oblivious to me watching them.

'What do you think happened to the window Mr Solomon?' The boy asked.

Mr Solomon glanced up at the window casually and simply muttered 'This could mean a complication Zach, and as a rule complications are bad'

Zach looked up at Mr Solomon. It was clear he idolised this man… whoever he was. I recognised the name Mr Solomon from the conversation I'd heard in the café earlier, he was apparently fighting the bad guys. It took all my will power to stop myself from darting out of the shadows and crying for help… but then I remembered that my mom had been apparently fighting the bad guys too, and I realised not everything is as it seems. I kept my place in the shadows.

Mr Solomon suddenly raised his hand to his ear and I had to squint my eyes to see that he was wearing some kind of ear piece.

'Back up ready?' He whispered.

'Great' He seemed to reply to someone who was speaking to him through an ear piece.

It was hard to describe what happened next because suddenly the street lights went out and I heard thundering footsteps of what sounded like dozens of people running towards me. Except of course they ran straight past, or at least I think they did, it was hard to tell in the dark.

Shouts echoed through the air and I could make out the cries of Catherine and Frank in all the commotion.

A car suddenly whizzed down the road, far too fast for the strict speed limits of Roseville.

People were bundled into a car and I heard a stream of swear words escape from who I presumed was Catherine. The car drove away and the street lights came on.

The street was empty once more except I could still hear people in the house.

'What a great extraction!' Cried a man gleefully.

A woman was sobbing; it was hard to make out her words.

'She's not here; I thought she'd be here!' She said between her crying.

The man was comforting her. 'We'll find her Rachel, we'll find her, I promise, we know she was here'

A boy spoke up amongst the sobbing and asked 'Why would Catherine risk coming here?'

'Because she wanted me' the woman sobbed. 'She wanted to have something to hold against Cammie, to persuade her to talk!'

I froze at the mention of my name. I was sure my heart was beating about ten times more than normal. They were talking about me. Why would Catherine try to capture this woman to hold against me? Maybe this was a trap. Maybe these people were trying to capture me too. Maybe there were no good people, only bad.

'She's not here. Let's go, we'll have another look around the town' the man said.

I watched them come out the house. Mr Solomon and Zach lead the way followed by an absolutely beautiful woman… well I guessed she would have once been beautiful, but now she just seemed tired and worried.

I continued to watch until their figures were just a blur in the distance. I fell against the wall of the house and sighed deeply. It seemed like wherever I went danger was at every corner, people set to kidnap or kill me. Would I ever have a normal life? I already knew the answer to that.


	7. You Don't Know Me

**A/N: Thanks for reviews and fave's! Just wanted to say I try to include all your ideas and if it's not in this chapter then look out for it in the next one. It's great to see people asking me to update every day but I'm afraid due to school it just isn't possible! I will try my best to do very regular updates though. Not too happy with this chapter but I didn't really have a chance to edit it properly because I just wanted to update it and get this chapter over with so I can work extra hard on the next chapter which I love. Anyway, I hope this chapter meets your expectations and I'm very sorry if it doesn't. Also don't worry about the lack of Zammie at the moment, it will come soon I promise! **

**Please read & review.**

I stayed on the floor until I could feel the cold seep through into my bones. I stood up stiffly after a while, determined to find somewhere warm to go. But then I spotted a piece of paper fluttering in the breeze, caught on the fence of the house. A lump caught in my throat… it couldn't be the form… the piece of paper Catherine had never wanted me to see.

I forced myself to move across the street and pick it up.

It was an admission form... from the Gallagher Academy.

It hit me like a truck. It wasn't as simple as suddenly remembering everything, no way. But I finally started to put a few pieces of the puzzle together.

I remembered how Josh and DeeDee had known me. I remembered the people from the Gallagher Academy who were talking about the missing girl, I thought about the way DeeDee had said she hadn't seen that girl for ages and she was… Josh's ex-girlfriend. I thought I might be sick.

I forced myself to read on. I read my name over and over again. _Cameron Morgan_. It rolled off my tongue easily but I couldn't remember anyone ever calling me it.

I looked over my admission test scores and saw percentages that indicated that I wasn't just clever but some kind of child genius. I remembered how easily I'd answered the questions in my first history lesson when I hadn't been concentrating and the logo I'd seen in my flashback which was now above the words Gallagher Academy in my hands, as real as the air that whipped around my face, no longer just a blurry memory.

The picture on the back was unbearable to look at. The girl was young, probably a seventh grader. Her dirty blonde hair came down to her shoulders and she had a cute smile. I wondered if I could ever be her again or if I would forever be this girl I was now, the girl no one knew, the girl I didn't even know myself. Right now I felt like no one.

I stood up, brushing the tears off my cheeks and folding the paper up into my jeans pocket. I resisted the temptation to flop onto the ground and sleep. Instead I forced myself to think of the girl on the paper and realised I needed to get my old life back. I was tempted to go straight to The Gallagher Academy, wherever it was, and demand answers. But I forced myself to remember I'd run away from there for a reason and until I found out what that reason was I couldn't trust anyone.

I ducked through alleyways and forgotten neighbourhoods until I finally found the gates of The Gallagher Academy, the logo I now had memorised was etched into the gate.

I looked up at it, expecting some kind of rush of memories or realisation but nothing came. It was just a bunch of manicured grounds with tall walls. It really did look nothing more than a school for princesses like DeeDee had said.

I gazed longingly at the light shining through the windows. I thought of myself maybe sitting in one of those rooms long ago, perhaps with my friends. But then I thought back to one of my questions… Why had I left? And so I turned my back on the Gallagher Academy and carried on walking.

I just needed a place to think, to plan, so I chose the café from earlier.

'You needed a place to think too huh?' The voice made me jump and I turned quickly to face Zach, the boy who I knew but who didn't know me back.

I realised this guy had been with the girls from The Gallagher Academy, he might know me, he might know what happened to me. But I couldn't take any chances.

I let my hair sweep into curtains over my face with the intent of somehow trying to disguise myself, not that he'd remember me anyway though of course.

I kept my eyes fixed on the stain on the floor.

'Sorry, I know, you probably don't talk to strangers… Hey , are you okay? You look… lost' His voice was full of genuine concern, concern that I didn't want nor deserved.

'I'm fine' I muttered, my voice breaking unrealistically at the end.

'You don't sound it' He muttered as he collapsed onto the stool in the corner. It looked like he was afraid to look at me too.

'Neither do you' I pointed out.

'Well' he suddenly laughed mockingly. 'I guess if your… _friend…_ goes missing it kinda puts a downer on your day'

'Of course it would' I sighed sitting down beside him. 'You miss her huh?'

'Of course I do, she was amazing…' I could sense he was trying to hold back a stream of compliments about this missing girl… about me. It seemed wrong to listen now that this girl was in my past, she wasn't me anymore.

I started to walk away quickly, suddenly overcome by tears.

'Hey… wait' He said gently as he placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

I turned this time, my hair flew out of my face revealing my gaunt cheekbones and I watched the shock register over his face, followed by relief and then all the other emotions that are possible to feel.

'Cammie!' He chocked. 'Cammie, it's really you, isn't it?'

I wouldn't allow myself to look him in the eyes, I had to play dumb, I didn't know who this guy was or even if he was good or bad. I didn't know him.

'I don't know what you're talking about' I drew my eyes up to meet his and felt hypnotised by their intensity. Was he… crying?

'Cammie, I know it's you, it's okay, and I'm here!' He came closer and looked like he was actually about to hug me, kiss me even, so I drew away. This boy didn't belong to me. He belonged to _Cameron Morgan._

'You don't know me!' My voice suddenly rose in panic.

'I know you' He simply stated, his eyes never leaving mine. 'I know you Cammie, _I know you, _I know how you like waffles and not pancakes, how you turn in your sleep every half an hour, how you…'

'Oh, nice lucky guess' I said sarcastically, not letting him get to me. _I didn't know him._

'I know you ran away last summer and left me and your best friends and your mom' he said suddenly.

I felt my eyes widen.

'My… my… mom?' I stuttered.

'Yes… your mom…' Zach repeated concern filling his eyes at my reaction.

'I… have a mom…' I whispered to myself.

Zach took a step back suddenly, like he was scared to touch me, like we were suddenly separated by a wall.

'What happened to you Cammie?' He suddenly whispered. I was scared to give him my answer, this person wanted the old me back, and this person didn't want to hear about me not remembering who he was. But I wanted answers and maybe giving answers first was the best way to handle this.

I sank down onto the chair beside me weakly, my eyes finally leaving Zach's.

'I woke up in New York in a hospital. I didn't know who I was, where I'd been, what I'd done. I lost nearly all my memory' I whispered, so quiet I wasn't sure if he'd heard me but his expression told me he had. His eyes were suddenly filled with an emotion I couldn't quite narrow down… it was almost… regret. '_I don't know you!' _I repeated.

'We have to get back to The Gallagher Academy' Zach suddenly smiled slightly. 'They'll be so happy to see you!'

'No!' My voice was panicky again. 'You think my mom… whoever she is… will want a girl back with memory loss, a girl who doesn't even know who she is?'

Zach didn't hesitate before he replied 'Yes, she will'


	8. Clashing With The Past

**A/N: EXTRA long chapter for my amazing readers! Loving the reviews! Getting a lot of ideas from them too!**

**Keep reviewing please, it's so inspiring! Hope this chapter is okay! Don't worry, more Zammie and improved relationships with her friends to come later on!**

I was actually shaking as we came towards the gates. I wondered how many times I'd been here before.

'Don't worry, they'll understand' Zach reassured me '_I'll make sure they understand'_ he muttered. His arm was around my waist but I didn't mind, it felt kind of natural. I liked Zach, he had this really caring side to him but I had no doubt he was cocky underneath. I could see why I'd chosen him as a friend.

'Were we good friends?' I asked suddenly.

The question seemed to throw Zach and he suddenly seemed uncomfortable. 'We were… close' Zach replied. I had a feeling there was more to it that he wasn't telling me.

'Good' I smiled.

He smiled back, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

'We have to go in through a secret passageway, the guards won't recognise you' Zach lowered his voice as we walked around the wall.

'Let me lead the way' I said suddenly, pushing in front of Zach.

I was thankful he didn't stop me or question me; he merely followed as I lead the way down the dark and dusty corridor in a kind of trance.

I ran my fingers along the dust covered stone and rejoiced in the fact that it was familiar. The musty smell of dirt was overpowering and it stirred some kind of memory of me running down here, in a rush to get out.

As we came to the end of the corridor I spoke suddenly. 'I left through this corridor'

'I know you did' Zach smiled warily. 'Liz found irregular dust patterns'

I didn't want to ask who this Liz person was, so instead I asked 'What do you mean irregular dust patterns?'

Zach actually stopped in shock. 'You don't know do you? You don't know what you are? What this school is?'

'No?' I whispered as a question.

Zach hesitated unsure what to do.

'Just tell me' I ordered.

'You are a spy' He tried to sound casual, he watched to see if recognition would fill my face. But it didn't.

I appreciated his use of _are _instead of _was_ but I didn't doubt the fact that losing my memory and not knowing who anyone was kind of suggested if I really had been a spy I would never be one again.

'Are you okay?' He asked suddenly.

'I'm fine apart from the fact I'm going to be meeting friends I don't remember and my mom who I feel like I've never seen before' I replied nervously.

'No, I mean, you're limping…' He trailed off.

'Oh' I laughed. 'Yeah, turns out my foster parents used my memory loss to their advantage and kidnapped me, so I had to make an emergency escape'

Zach smiled too, for the first time the smile lit up his face, reaching his eyes, almost as if he'd seen the humorous side to me before… maybe he had. I wished that would bring back a memory, but it didn't.

'Do you know who it was who kidnapped you?' Zach asked suddenly.

'I think it was a woman named Catherine Goode unless she used a fake name…'

'No she didn't' His voice turned cold and he turned this awful shade of green.

'How do you know?' I asked but got no reply. I then realised the conversation was probably over.

'Maybe I should… go in first… explain…' Zach paused outside a door in the middle of the long corridor. 'This is the teacher's corridor' He said as he saw my expression register confusion. 'Your… your mom's in there'

'Okay' I agreed. My palms were sweaty, my body ached and I willed myself not to throw up as Zach knocked and then disappeared inside the room.

I paced up and down the corridor, my whole body shaking with nerves. I was about to meet my mom. _My mom._ The same mom who had raised me my whole life. _The same mom I had run away from._

'Cammie!' I spun on my heel to face a beautiful woman, the same woman from before, a woman who was too beautiful to be my mom. I'd never seen so much happiness on someone's face before, it was almost like her world was suddenly making sense, like I was her everything.

She began to run towards me, her arms out wide. I took a large step back, not ready for some kind of happy reunion with a woman I didn't know. I couldn't pretend everything was okay.

'You're not my mom' I said suddenly, surprising even myself. I instantly wished I hadn't of said it. Her face fell and tears filled her eyes. She stopped mid-run and her arms dropped dead to her side.

I quickly forced myself to re-word what I'd just said and so I whispered. 'You're too beautiful to be my mom, we look nothing alike'

I wanted this woman to smile at the feeble little joke, to say of course she wasn't my mom, to say this was all some massive practical joke.

'I thought you would remember' She sobbed suddenly, her voice fading away as she walked back down the corridor, almost like she was unable to look at me, as if coming too close would be damaging.

'Wait!' I called after her. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just don't remember…'

She stopped suddenly, turning quickly on her heel and she slowly paced towards me as if she were savouring the moment… but not in a good way.

She was suddenly beside me and I had to blink twice to confirm it, she'd been so quick. She began running her hands through my long black hair that was nothing like hers. I didn't like it but I knew it was something she wanted to do.

All of a sudden she pulled my hair back to reveal my gaunt cheek bones. She seemed to cringe a little but her hands stayed perfectly steady as she pulled me around to face a window. I didn't admire the beautiful stain glass which I was sure I would have loved in my past life. Instead I stared at the reflection and I could finally see it. I saw the way my chin was shaped in the exact way her's was, I noticed our eyes which were exactly the same colour and the shape of my thin frame which resembled her figure.

'See' My mom suddenly let my hair fall around me and just like that the connection was gone. 'I'm your mom, we look similar… except… you have your dad's nose' She smiled weakly and then staggered back as if the sudden connection had been too much for her.

I looked back over at Zach who was stood staring at me.

I watched my mom go back in her room, trying to hide the tears that were pouring down her face.

The silence that followed was deafening. Until Zach finally came towards me.

'You could have at least hugged her' Zach said coldly. I was shocked by the anger in his voice.

'What hug a woman I don't know?' I yelled at him, my anger flaring up. 'I've been through all this memory loss and god knows what else and now you want me to pretend to remember this woman who says she's my mom!'

Zach stood back from me suddenly. A look that I couldn't quite make out reflected in his face… almost like… disgust.

'You're not the only one who's had it bad since you left you know! You have no idea what all of us have been through!' Zach's voice was a harsh whisper.

'Well, while you were all cosy in this mansion I woke up with memory loss in New York!' I yelled. 'I think I have a pretty good idea!'

Zach's eyes studied mine, as if debating whether to say it. He frowned suddenly as he said 'Your mom tried to kill herself, we were here trying to clear up the mess you left behind'

I shrank back from his glare. It was almost like half of him wanted to hit me and the other half hug me.

He suddenly sighed. 'Look, I'll show you back to your room, you must be tired. I'm sure everyone will get together tomorrow and we can sort this mess out'

_My mom had tried to kill herself._

'Okay' I shrugged, as if I weren't bothered, as if I didn't feel like falling onto the floor and crying my eyes out.

I dragged my feet along the corridor after Zach, the silence making me feel sick.

'Your friends don't know about the whole… memory loss thing yet' Zach spoke suddenly making me jump. 'I'll explain it to them before you go in'

'Okay' I nodded thankfully.

But we must have been too late because then I heard the voices echoing around the otherwise silent corridors.

'I can't wait to see her! Do you think she'll have changed at all?'

'Yeah probably, I don't care, I'm not interested in what she's been up too' someone replied angrily.

'Cammie!' A blonde haired girl yelled as she came into view. She bounded up to me without hesitation, her arms wrapping around me. I tensed at her touch but she didn't seem to notice as she chatted on about what had changed and what was the same. I didn't have the heart to tell her I had no idea who she was.

'Your hairs changed' someone behind her stated and I stared at her shocked as I recognised her as the model in vogue and the girl from the café.

Zach pulled the girl off me.

'Liz, you don't understand' Zach said gently.

The girl named Liz eyed him in surprise, almost indignantly. 'Of course I understand, my best friend's home!' she argued.

'Yeah…' Zach started, but I interrupted.

'Who are you?' I asked suddenly, needing to know… were these cousins? Friends? Kidnappers? I didn't know anything anymore.

'…What?' Stammered Liz in disbelief.

'No, No, No!' She continued, shaking her head as if trying to forget the fact that I didn't know who she was.

I realised then that I may have totally said the wrong thing.

A beautifully dark almost exotic looking girl walked up to me. She jabbed me hard in the stomach. 'Don't play games Cam!' She shrieked hysterically. 'You already go and leave us to deal with the mess you left behind, to pick up your messed up life, and now you tell us you don't know who you are… that you lost your memory!' She practically spat her words.

'What… what did I do?' I stammered, scared by this girls words.

'Bex, she's not joking around, she's not lying, she doesn't know who we are' The model girl was eyeing me carefully, calmly. She spoke casually, as if it were an everyday occurrence that a girl comes back to school without her memory.

I watched as Bex flounced off, Zach followed closely behind her calling out for her stop. I watched them disappear around the corner.

'I remember your voice' I spoke slowly and quietly, eying the model girl.

'So you remember Macey, but not me!' Liz cried exasperated.

'No, I didn't remember really… I had a flashback… you were doing my makeup' I told Macey. 'I just remember your voice'

Macey smiled. 'I used to do your makeup every day; you were awful at it, no wonder that's the one thing you remember'

I couldn't help myself. I laughed. It wasn't long before it turned into tears though.

'I'm sorry I don't remember you!' I cried exasperated. 'I wish I did'

Macey shrugged casually. 'Your loss not mine' she smiled again.

I followed them down the corridor, so many questions swam around my mind but I had a feeling that now wasn't the time to ask them.

As I walked into a room I smiled as I saw the fluffy rug from my memory but it soon turned into a frown as I noticed the girl named Bex lying on her bed, sulkily staring up at the ceiling.

'We left your things the way they were before you left' Liz whispered.

I nodded. I glanced at my bed which was perfectly made. I went over to the cupboard and opened it taking a cautious glance inside. Clothes hung neatly and I couldn't help but notice they were arranged in colour order.

I turned back around and noticed that Macey, Bex and Liz were all staring at me, watching me. They turned away quickly when I caught them looking.

I didn't know what to say. It was too quiet. The atmosphere was too formal for what was meant to be a room full of best friends.

'Oh, and these are yours' Bex got up suddenly, throwing me a pile of what looked like reports. 'We already know them off by heart of course; we had to study them so we could find you when you went missing' she hissed.

I thumbed through them quickly, my eyes widening as I read the cover '_Cameron Morgan's Journal'_

It was what I wanted, it probably had all the answers I was looking for, but I was suddenly scared to read it.

'Go ahead' Macey urged me. 'It is yours; maybe it will help you remember'

So that night I sat in the window seat of the room, reading through the reports, skimming every detail of my past life. I felt strange as I read, almost as if I were intruding on another girl's life. The girl I was reading about simply wasn't me anymore. She was in the past.


	9. Remembrance Of Bad And Good

**A/N: Little chapter for you guys. Sorry it's only a little, I just had to get some Zammie in for you but it turned out a bit of a filler… I'm sorry, stay with me for more action in the next chapter! ;)**

**Loving the reviews. Read+Review please if you have time!**

So I now knew Zach's mom had tried to kill me, I knew Zach had been my almost boyfriend, I knew that I'd run away to find answers about my dead dad… but I still didn't understand who I was.

I couldn't sleep at all that night. I tossed and turned. The bed was too springy, the covers were too smothering and the nightmares were brutal.

'Shh, Cammie it's just me!' I woke with a start at the sound of Macey's voice.

'Do you want to go outside for a minute? You're burning up' Macey asked with genuine concern.

I nodded weakly. I raised my sweaty palm up to my throbbing head. My throat was sore and my hands were shaking. 'You look awful Cammie!' Macey exclaimed.

'Thanks Macey' I replied sarcastically as I forced my aching limbs out of bed.

As we began walking along the corridor that was of course empty at five in the morning the silence was too much to take. 'I had a nightmare' I shrugged.

Macey stayed silent. I wasn't sure if it was an invitation to continue talking or a sign that I should shut up.

I decided to carry on talking. 'I was in the… room… tied up, Catherine, she was hitting me. She was making me stare at this stone, but I couldn't see what it said but it made me break down whatever it was and… and…'

I suddenly realised we'd stopped walking and Macey's arms were around me.

'Don't think that this makes us okay with each other' Macey warned. Then laughed. 'I'm still mad at you for leaving, even if you don't remember it'

'Okay' I agreed smiling weakly as Macey drew away from me.

'And also, you must never tell anyone about this, I don't tend to show my caring side often, you'll find out for yourself soon enough' Macey grinned.

'I'm sorry Macey' I sighed. 'I wish I remembered you properly'

'Well maybe it's a good thing that you don't remember how much of a pain I was when I first came here' she laughed as if she had some kind of private joke with herself. Her face suddenly turned serious 'you know we won't forgive you straight away though, especially Bex, she's… hurting'

'Bit like Zach then' I shrugged. 'I just don't understand, I don't feel like the Cammie I used to be, I'm not her, I'm a new person'

'I don't believe that' I turned quickly to face Zach who'd come up behind me.

'I'll leave you two to talk' Macey began edging back down the corridor. 'You should take Cammie outside, she's not feeling too good'

Zach nodded. I tried to ignore the fact I was in my comfiest pyjamas and my hair must have looked like a bird's nest and concentrated on the fact that Zach wasn't even fully dressed in his sweat pants. His t-shirt was seemingly absent, exposing his toned body.

'Did you forget your shirt?' I asked sarcastically.

'Well I didn't really imagine I'd been following a girl around the school at five in the morning' Zach shrugged.

'So why are you exactly?' I asked raising my eyebrows.

Zach suddenly looked uncomfortable and I had a feeling he was admitting to some deep secret as he replied 'I hotwired your bed'

I rolled my eyes. 'I'm perfectly fine Zach; I don't need you watching over me'

'I'm afraid you don't have much choice' he retorted. His face suddenly softened 'I let you leave once; I won't let you leave again'

His face was so close to mine that he was out of focus. 'I'm not Cammie anymore Zach' I said as his hands entwined with mine. 'I'm a new person, a bad person, a person that doesn't deserve to be looked after'

'And you think I'm not?' Laughed Zach mockingly. 'My mom tried to kill you remember'

I cringed at his words. 'No I don't really remember as such… but I did read my journal which gave me a clue'

'And you don't care?' Zach asked.

'Nope' I shrugged. 'If I'm the spy I read about then they'll always be people with trying to kill me, whether it's your mom or a stranger it doesn't matter, it's not you'

Zach didn't say anything. He didn't need to.

'You really do look ill' Zach said looking me over.

'It's been said before' I shrugged.

'Maybe I should take you to the nurse?' Zach continued.

'No! Look I'm fine; I just need some fresh air'

We walked up to the airy room at the top of the caste. The wind whipped around my face, the cold felt refreshing against my clammy skin. But suddenly I wasn't on the rooftop anymore, I was somewhere else.

Someone's hand was gripping tightly to mine. I turned around to face Zach, smiling as his fingers traced the grooves of my palm. He was reassuring me that everything would be okay, that we'd stay together. I felt the butterflies in my stomach as his lips pressed against mine, warming my skin. As we drew apart he pulled me up and I noticed the mud caking my favourite jeans.

But then Zach's hand wasn't in mine anymore, I was falling, watching the face of Catherine disappear behind me. I hit the water, my shoulder was suddenly on fire, the pain was overwhelming but nothing compared to the waves that smashed roughly against me pulling me under. I was drowning, I was…

'Cammie! Cammie please wake up!' Zach's voice dragged me back to reality.

'I'm fine' I croaked. I was pretty sure Zach wasn't convinced.

He helped me up, I was shaking, his hands were entwined with mine again, just like my memory, except this time nothing was threatening to separate us. Zach was here with me.

'I need to get your mom and the nurse and…' He started to babble on.

'No, I just had a memory' I replied shakily.

'What was it?' Zach asked immediately.

'Tell me what it was!' Zach demanded again, his eyes piercing into mine.

'How about I show you…' My voice was nothing more than a whisper but as I touched my lips to his I had no doubt that he'd heard me. I also had no doubt that the kiss lasted three minutes and fifty nine seconds and I couldn't tell if it was the girl or the spy in me that realised… but I hoped it was a bit of both.

**Bit of a short chapter… I'm sorry; it just felt a good place to end the chapter. I hope this wasn't too bad. Anyway, I now need your help… two friends down and a friend and a mom for her left to make up with. SO, plot ideas please?! I've planned out how she'll make up with the others but I DESPERTLY need ideas… anything?! Your ideas in the past have been so great and really helped with this story! Thank You!**


	10. Guilt

**A/N: Just something I wanted to address from a review I got ages ago… someone said about the way I use these symbols '' instead of "" for speech and I'm really sorry if that's annoying but it's kind of a habit I have and it would be a bit strange if half of my story changed punctuation suddenly so I'm going to keep it the same, sorry!**

**Also I know some people were getting confused with the flashbacks and where they start and finish so I've marked them out better this time. Also thanks for the ideas, I actually think I'll use all of them they were all great! It's really hard to do flashbacks though because I don't want to be too repetitive of the OSOT. Oh well, hopefully it worked out okay! Let me know in your reviews, I love reading them!**

'I have to go to town and give an explanation to Josh and DeeDee, an excuse as to why I'm leaving Roseville High… they were really good friends to me' As soon as I said it I knew it was true and it was something I would have to do.

'NO!' Macey and Zach cried in unison. Liz and Bex just looked blankly at me, as if they couldn't care either way… and maybe they didn't.

'I have to do this, Josh and DeeDee were really nice to me, and I can't just leave without an explanation' I pushed.

'Well you did for us' Bex kicked her bed in frustration.

'That's not true' I whispered. 'You know I left to protect you'

'No, I don't actually!' Bex threw her hands up in exasperation. 'And I don't think I ever will!'

She stormed out of the room. Liz threw me a pitying look before trailing sadly after her.

I fell back onto my bed, messing up the uniform that had been annoyingly neatly laid out on my bed by my mom earlier on.

'What makes Josh so special anyway?' Zach was looking down but I could see the jealousy in his eyes and I knew nothing I could say would make him believe that this wasn't solely about Josh.

'You know, if it hadn't been for some convincing on DeeDee's part then I wouldn't be here right now' I argued.

'Well…' I could see the defeat in Zach's eyes.

'Fine, but I'm coming with you!' He demanded. 'And you have to wear comms so I and Macey can keep in contact with you.

'Fine' I rolled my eyes, not even sure what comms were.

'You better look after her' Macey warned Zach.

'I'll leave after dinner tonight' I decided. 'No one will miss me then and it will give me time to think of an excuse'

'Right, but now we have to go to breakfast, you need some food in you, and not everyone suits the skinny bean pole look' Macey smiled.

I rolled my eyes again.

'That means… we need to _get changed_ into our uniforms' Macey tried again, shooting Zach a look.

'Oh… Oh right' Zach blushed and stumbled over his words. 'Well… I'll er… I'll meet you in the grand hall' He darted out the door.

Me and Macey gave each other a look before bursting out with laughter. I wished this would stir a memory too. But it didn't.

Macey guided me down the corridors and I couldn't help but feel like a dog trailing after its owner… lost.

I could smell waffles and pancakes, it all smelt great but it was making me feel sick at the same time thinking about all the times I could have eaten here, all the times I would have entered this hall on a normal day. _Normal._

'It's okay Cam, we won't force feed you y'know!' Macey joked as she saw my expression.

I glanced at the table she'd sat down at and saw the lack of seats; I didn't get time to question it though.

'Cammie!' Someone yelled as she threw her arms around me.

'Hi' I greeted her, although it seemed kind of incomplete without her name.

Suddenly Macey was up, moving swiftly across to me. She quickly and casually whispered in my ear 'Sorry I forgot to tell you, your mom says to pretend you remember everyone, that you haven't lost your memory… oh… and her name's Tina'

'Right' I replied curtly but Macey was already back in her seat. I blinked in surprise at how quick she'd been.

'What?' Tina asked when she heard me, not realising Macey had even said anything to me.

'Oh nothing, _Tina_' I shook it off and listened to the long and dull explanation of Tina's summer.

'Let Cam get some food down her!' someone sighed at Tina. 'You've lost loads of weight Cam, and you look totally different!' She exclaimed, looking at me properly for the first time.

I shifted uncomfortably from her stare. 'Well it's amazing what a diet and hair dye can do to you' I joked. It must have been the right thing to say, the same thing the old me would have said because the girl laughed.

She shifted along the bench so I could squeeze in. I noticed no one else made the effort to move, least of all Bex and Liz.

'Yeah, Zach seems to have taken your seat' Tina raised her eyebrows as she glanced along the table at Bex and Zach laughing together. My stomach lurched.

'Oh well' I shrugged as if it didn't matter, as if I remembered where my seat had been.

Overall I was forced to eat five slithers of bacon, three pancakes and two waffles so I walked into CoveOps class feeling sicker than I should have.

'Cammie hold on a minute' I paused, halfway through the door to where Macey had told me our new CoveOps room was and turned to face my mom.

'Are you sure you're ready for this? We could always put you in with the seventh graders and…' Her hand reached out to touch my shoulder. It should have felt motherly and natural but it felt more like a clasp as her fingers gently squeezed into me. I shook her hand off awkwardly and it fell dead to her side.

_My mom had almost died._

'I'm fine' my voice cracked.

'Well, I'll see you later kiddo' her voice was strained as she took one last longing look at me and walk off.

'Oh, hello squirt!' a cheerful voice called out from behind me. The strange thing wasn't that someone was happy to see me though; the strange thing was that I remembered her!

()()()()

I was in a room; I was only little, no more than eleven years old. I was crying, in hysterics even.

Her delicate hands were running through my hair, her voice was soothing and calm.

'I promise I'll find your dad squirt' her lips tightened and she muttered '_I promise I'll find him'_

'I missed you aunt Abby' I murmured through my tears.

Suddenly tears were in her eyes too. 'I'll always be here for you Cammie, even if I'm not physically with you I'll always be here for you'

()()()()

'Earth to Cammie!' Aunt Abby waved her hand in front of me and a concerned expression overtook her face.

I leaned in close to her, recognising everything about her. Her suit was one that I'd seen numerous times, even if I couldn't be specific as to when those times were I just knew it. She still wore the same fruity perfume and her long nails were perfectly manicured like the time she'd ran her fingers through my hair.

My lips touched against the hair that covered her ear and I whispered. 'Aunt Abby, I remembered… I remember you!'

She didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Instead she engulfed me in a hug that felt so natural. She squeezed me tightly and I felt her tears brush against my cheek… they mixed with my own. She quickly wiped her eyes and I did the same as she drew away from me.

I glanced back at the CoveOps class and noticed their prying eyes that suggested they'd heard the whole conversation.

Aunt Abby quickly corrected herself then shot me a sly wink before saying loudly 'Of course you remember me Cam, we only saw each other a few weeks ago on our little mission'

The whole class gasped at the prospect of me and Abby on a mission together, as if I were the luckiest girl in the world. I probably would have been. Only Abby and my friends and I knew it was a lie.

She directed me to a stool at the front of the class. I tried to concentrate on the debate going on knowing how much work I had to catch up on but it felt like they were speaking in a different language… and half the time I could have sworn they actually were!

It was only when my mind began to drift onto memories of my aunt that I began to understand the debate.

'No, I think it's best to stay still, most people don't see people as much as they see movement' I interrupted unknowingly.

'Brilliant Cammie' My aunt's voice brought me back to reality. It was only then I'd realised I'd spoken and by the look on Bex's face it was clear who I'd interrupted.

'Sorry' I mouthed to Bex. But if looks could kill I'd be dead.

The rest of my lessons passed uneventfully. I followed Macey around mostly, getting lost numerous times on my way to lunch and dinner.

'Cammie can I talk to you a second?' I jumped at the sound of my mom's voice.

'Ur… Okay' I hesitated as she led me down the corridor, her arm hovered uncertainly at the arch of my back, like she was scared of touching me.

'In here…' She gestured to a tiny little room with sofas and a desk… 'My office' she confirmed as she noticed me pause outside the door.

I flopped down on the sofa in her office and she seemed to wait for me… like she was expecting me to do something.

'What?' I asked rather rudely, getting annoyed with her staring. Her face dropped sadly.

'Sorry, I wondered if you'd remember… I heard about you remembering Aunt Abby and you've been in my office rather a lot' Her face was obviously trying to show happiness that I'd remembered my aunt but I picked up the hint of jealously.

'It doesn't work like that' I snapped harshly, watching my mom's face fall even more. 'I can't just control when I'm going to remember something!'

'Of course, sorry…' Her voice trailed off sadly, her disappointment evident.

'So… you wanted to talk to me?' I tried to make my voice softer but it didn't seem to relax my mom's tense posture.

'Yes, I just wanted to know if you wanted to… catch up tonight' her voice was so hopeful that it made the pang of guilt that shot through my stomach for what I was about to do greater.

'I'm sorry but I've got lots of work to catch up on… maybe tomorrow?' I lied smoothly, trying to pretend I couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

'Of course' my mom chocked. 'Maybe Sunday too… we always used to have dinner together on Sundays'

'Oh…' I pretended to sound happy. 'Yeah sure, Sunday sounds great'

My mom gave a weak smile as I slipped out the door, shutting it quietly behind me. I instantly fell to the floor and buried my face in my hands. I was an awful daughter, the worst. I wasn't sure why I was being so awful. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't like being looked at and my mom had a habit of staring at me any opportunity she could. Maybe it was that I didn't remember a thing about her… I mean she was my mom, I should remember her and I couldn't handle all this formality as if we were strangers… which I guess we kind of were now.

I stood up when I heard the sobs, the sobs that weren't coming from me.

I began to walk back along the corridor knowing I didn't want to listen to my mom cry.

**Gaaah, I hate this chapter, it made me sad just writing it! Update to come soon, lots of action in the next chapter! Review pleaaaaase!**


	11. I Love You

**A/N: I've done it. I've updated! I'm SO sorry, it's such a long time since I updated, I'm usually really quick at updating but school slowed me down LOTS and I just couldn't get this chapter right. I hope it's okay though and it's a long chapter to make up for it!**

**Thanks for reviews, loving them! Please read & review!**

'And where do you think YOU'RE going' Aunt Abby blocked the corridor in front of me, her hands rested firmly on her hips.

'Back to my room' I shrugged casually.

'Right… make sure you stay there then' Aunt Abby fumbled on and I wondered if this really was one of the CIA's best spies.

'Of course Aunt Abby' I shot her a smile and watched her retreat down the corridor to my mom's office. Of course I followed.

Now, as a girl I would of course have done the old 'listening outside the door' trick, but I knew that it wouldn't be good enough when listening to a conversation going on between two of the best spies in the world.

I wasn't sure how I found the passageway, but that didn't matter, because all I could concentrate on was the crying at the end of it… and the hand that pulled me back.

'No, Cammie, trust me, you don't want to listen to this'

I gritted my teeth. 'I have to know Zach, I need to know what my mom thinks about me'

'Cammie, you don't want to know' Zach pleaded with me and I had a feeling he was trying to stop himself from picking me up and carrying me out.

I turned round and looked him in the eyes. 'I have to know Zach'

Zach didn't say anything but he let go of my arm. I took advantage of the opportunity and sprinted down the corridor.

The crying became louder and louder until I just wanted to break through the wall and comfort my mom, but of course my aunt was already onto it.

'Rachel, it won't be long, she'll remember soon' Aunt Abby's voice radiated calmness.

'What if she never remembers me? What if I really have lost my daughter?' it was hard to distinguish her words through the sobs.

'You'll never lose her Rachel, never' Aunt Abby reassured her.

'What if I already have?' My mom sobbed into Aunt Abby's shoulder. 'She remembers her aunt but not her mom…'

'Just give her time Rachel'

'Maybe I should leave, maybe she's better off without me, maybe I should have…'

'No!' I'd never heard so much panic in one word before, my Aunt was literally begging with my mom now. 'No, don't you dare say that… just… don't you dare!'

'I'm sorry' my mom leaned back in her chair. 'I'm sorry, that wasn't fair of me to bring it up'

'It's not your fault' Suddenly Aunt Abby seemed furious. 'You should tell Cammie what you almost did… what you did… just because she decided to do a disappearing act'

'Let's not play the blame game again Abby' my mom pleaded. 'I was to blame too; I should have been more honest with Cammie'

'Cammie, we need to get out of here now… and…'

'Sh!' I hushed Zach who was trying to tug me back down the corridor.

'Cammie, now!' Zach was so pleading I almost gave in. I wish I had given in because the words that came next were impossible to forget.

'She needs to know' Aunt Abby said finally.

'Oh I'm sure that would be a great conversation with my daughter who doesn't remember me' my mom mocked sarcastically. 'Oh by the way Cammie, I jumped off the fifth floor balcony and died for a minute before being resuscitated, oh and of course the time I almost died in hospital too'

I didn't hear anymore. Maybe it was because Zach was shouting after me, or because I was running faster than I was sure I had ever run before, or maybe it was the loud buzzing in my ears that made me feel like dropping to the floor and passing out.

()()()()

'You took your time' Macey stated as I slipped into our room.

I simply shrugged.

'Got your excuse ready?' Macey continued.

I nodded.

'Are you okay' Macey asked.

I didn't reply.

'It will be fine, we go to the pharmacy, you give them your excuse, and we leave'

'Okay' I forced myself to concentrate.

'Be careful Cam' the voice behind me made me jump and I turned to face Liz. She shifted about awkwardly and then pulled me into a hug. 'I've hijacked the CCTV so I'll be able to see you the whole time on my laptop'

'Thanks Liz' I smiled. I turned to Bex.

'Don't get lost…' Bex shrugged.

'Thanks…' I started.

'It wasn't a compliment' Bex retorted rudely before leaving the room and slamming the door behind her.

I sighed deeply and then turned to Zach.

It wasn't long before I was changed out of my uniform and I was leading Zach down the secret passageway. His hand was in mine again.

'It will be fine' He soothed as we came out of the tunnel, the dark sky reflecting my mood.

'I know' I smiled.

'Do you want to talk about what you heard earlier?' Zach asked sympathetically. But I didn't deserve sympathy.

'Everything okay so far Cammie?' I heard Macey through my Comms unit.

'We're good' I heard Zach's happy reply as he forgot about his question.

'I have to go in by myself Zach, they can't know that me and you know each other, I'm meant to be two people remember' I told him as we stopped outside the pharmacy.

Zach hesitated obviously unhappy about it but he turned me to face him.

'I'll be right around the corner okay, just come straight back out if you need me'

'Okay' I agreed as I took a step closer to the door of the pharmacy.

()()()()

'Oh! Cammie!' Josh exclaimed from the counter. 'I didn't hear the bell go off!'

I glanced back at the door and saw the mechanism for the bell that went off as some old man exited the shop. We were alone.

I shrugged. 'Maybe it's broken…'

'Maybe…' Josh looked unconvinced.

'So, I missed you at school' Josh started, taking a step closer.

I took a step back. 'Oh, at least you have DeeDee' I worded carefully.

'It's not the same' Josh took another step towards me.

'Well, I actually came to tell you that I'm moving away, far away' I spoke quickly, now desperate to get out. 'Thanks for looking after me on the first day, and can you thank DeeDee for me too please'

'Okay sure' Josh smiled, he was so close to me now that I could feel his breath against my face. 'It's a shame really… we were getting really close…'

'We only knew each other for a few days' I retorted.

'Still, I feel like I've known you for longer' Josh grinned, coming even closer.

It was hard to hear what he was saying and I knew something was wrong. I couldn't hear Zach at all through my comms unit, there was just a constant stream of static with the occasional frantic shout from Macey's end.

Suddenly I heard Bex's voice through the static. 'Cammie, you need to get out of that shop… NOW!'

Josh was taking gradual steps closer.

'I have to go!' I blurted out to Josh. His face fell.

I was about to say something to try to soften the blow but I heard Bex's voice frantic through the comms. 'Cammie, I'm not kidding when I say get out NOW!'

I turned on my heel quickly and began to walk as fast as possible towards the door. I guess it was just unlucky I didn't make it there in time.

I turned _before _I heard the smash of the skylight window and _before_ someone was standing behind me, their hand suddenly clasped around my mouth.

Josh's eyes widened before a napotine patch was slapped across his head and he fell to the floor. There was no time to check he was okay, I had my own problems. Fully grown men that must have weighed over two hundred pounds began to drop through the skylight and run towards me, someone was dragging me roughly backwards, my arms throbbed and as they pulled my arms behind me. Something was in front of my face, some kind of rag that had a sickly smell. My vision began to blur and I felt myself dropping but not before I heard someone say 'I bet this brings back memories Cammie'

()()()()

There was a rag around my face, someone was dragging me away. I slammed my head into their skull. My own head cracked painfully too. I was coated in blood, unfortunately most of it was my own. Others began to try their luck at dragging me away, the rag being held over my mouth numerous times but I kept fighting, I couldn't give up. I'd come this far.

()()()()

'Very good Cameron, not bad for someone who doesn't remember her life' someone snarled. Catherine.

'Yeah, thanks to you' I gasped, finally registering the pain pulsing through my body. I was pressed up against a broken the window. Bodies lay around me... Had I done that? Regardless, it was just me and Catherine now.

'Well, it wasn't meant to happen this way but that idiot Frank hit you too hard one day when you weren't telling us what we wanted to know. But you know now don't you Cammie? You have the names we need?'

'Where's Zach?' I asked, desperate for a distraction.

'Oh, he's out cold in an alleyway somewhere' Catherine laughed.

I pressed myself harder against the glass, the shards cutting painfully against my back. I needed to check my surroundings, I knew I had too, but at the same time I couldn't take my eyes off of Catherine.

'How are you here?' I stammered.

'Oh those CIA cells are a piece of cake to break out of, I'm surprised your mom didn't tell you I had escaped to be honest, to stay away from me, unless… she doesn't know you're here of course' The look on my face confirmed she was right and the shock on my face registered I obviously hadn't been told anything.

'Well, I'm here now' my mom's voice which was still fairly new to me called out from the doorway. Catherine's eyes widened as she was joined by Zach who was sporting a bleeding head.

'Cammie get behind me now' my mom's voice was strong and powerful.

I attempted to stand but my shaking legs wouldn't take my weight and I fell back down against the window.

'Why didn't you tell me?' I directed my question towards my mom.

'I'm sorry Cammie; I didn't want to worry you' my mom pleaded for me to understand. But I didn't.

I looked down at my hands.

'How touching' Catherine spat as she came closer to me, but my mom got there first.

'I wouldn't come any closer' my mom warned.

'Oh really? And what are you going to do about it?' Catherine replied smugly.

'Me? Nothing. But I think those guys might have something to say' my mom replied just as smugly as she gestured to the large guys who had dropped down from the skylight behind Catherine.

I didn't have time to blink before Catherine had been pulled into a headlock and Zach was grabbing my hand.

'Get Cammie safely inside the mansion, now Zach!' My mom yelled over the shouting of Catherine.

Zach didn't hesitate as he began pulling me past all the bodies on the floor. I'd done that.

'No' I croaked finally. 'My mom… I have to help… I have to…'

'You don't need to do anything Cammie' Zach demanded, almost pulling my arm out of its socket as he dragged me across the shop.

'Is everyone okay? We all came here straight after we heard about the attempted burglary!' An old woman bustled up to me. I walked straight past her.

'How rude!' The woman exclaimed as she craned her head to get a better look at the action happening in the pharmacy.

'Give the girl a break, she's injured' Zach snapped at the woman before he pulled me away again.

Everything was a blur as we walked through the streets of Roseville. I could vaguely make out every person that we passed staring at us. I didn't understand why until I glanced in a shop window. My whole face was streaked with blood, my hair a matted mess and I was deathly pale, my whole body was shaking.

'Is she okay?'

'She's fine'

'Does she need any help?'

'She's fine'

Zach reassured the worried civilians of Roseville who continued to stare as he dragged me towards the gates of Gallagher.

Suddenly I couldn't take it anymore.

'I can't do this anymore Zach!' my voice was hysterical almost, the sobs racking through my body as I collapsed outside the gates.

'Don't say that Cammie, it will get better' Zach knelt down beside me.

'My mom almost died because of me, Bex is angry at me, Macey will never forgive me and…'

'And I love you' Zach finished.

Those are the words I tried to focus on as my world turned black and I drifted into unconsciousness.


	12. Regret

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, a little disappointed because I got hardly any for that last chapter; I'm sorry if you didn't like it! Thanks to those who did review though, it makes my day! This chapter isn't my best either but it's a lead up to the next chapter which I promise you is gunna be great! I know exactly what I'm doing next!**

'She's asleep, we can talk here'

My head spun and my body throbbed but I forced myself to listen to the voices that were more like an annoying buzz.

'I really think we should talk in your office Rachel, what if Zach's awake?' I heard my aunt's voice and I could sense their eyes looking my way. It was only when I'd realised what they'd actually said that I was suddenly aware of Zach's body pressed up against mine.

'Abby they're sound asleep, they've been through a lot' my mom sighed and I finally felt her eyes turn back to Aunt Abby. 'We have nothing to worry about… at the moment'

'Will you tell her?'

'I… I don't know, I'm sure she's still upset about me not telling her Catherine escaped, how do I tell her she escaped again?' I forced myself not to tense up at my mom's words.

'I didn't just mean that' my aunt muttered. 'You need to tell her about what happened to you when she left, if she doesn't find out from you she'll find out another way'

'No' my mom's reply was immediate and firm, but her voice dropped. 'I mean it Abby, she can _never_ find out about that, about how weak I was'

'Any complications?' Aunt Abby asked suddenly and I could sense her desperation to change the subject.

'No, the people of Roseville think it was a robbery gone wrong, Josh had his memory modified and we've destroyed the CCTV footage' My mom's voice was suddenly positive, as if she were suddenly comfortable speaking, as if it were natural for her to be speaking like a spy.

'So, the only problem is Catherine's escape?' Aunt Abby clarified.

'Yes' my mom confirmed. 'The CIA are on to it, but… she's… too good' My mom strained to say the words.

'And how's Cammie?' Aunt Abby asked with a definite shake to her voice.

'I imagine she'll be a little shaken when she wakes up, but the doctors assured me there's nothing wrong, she just hit her head and she's obviously cut and bruised, but no serious damage' My mom's voice was shaking.

'And Zach?'

I strained to hear my mom's reply; it was the one thing I was desperate to know. 'He's fine'

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching and I felt the heat of a hand close to brushing against my face.

'She's just so small, so vulnerable'

'Rachel she's not a kid, you need to see, she's a teenager… not even a teenager, she's a spy'

'She was' My mom corrected in a way that made my blood boil.

'She still is Rachel' Aunt Abby sighed.

I could just imagine my mom raising her eyebrows at this point.

'Well that's not what I hear from her subject teachers, apparently she's lacking so far behind she's not even up to the standard of the seventh graders… it's strange, they say sometimes she just stares into the distance and then suddenly it's like she's the old Cammie, like she remembers'

'Just give her a chance Rachel; we don't really know what she's been through'

'And that's the scariest part' my mom whispered. 'The not knowing… like the way she didn't know, like when I wouldn't tell her the truth'

'I've been thinking Abby, maybe I should teach her myself… I could…'

'No!' I felt Aunt Abby struggle to try and lower her voice. 'No Rachel, you need to give her time to adjust to Gallagher, you don't want to push her into remembering you'

'No Abby, this is the right thing to do, I can feel it, she'll be spending so much time with me she'll have to remember'

I gritted my teeth.

Her hand came down gently against my cheek, the warmth of her fingers felt nice against my numb skin, but at the same time it felt so wrong… like a stranger.

I forced my eyes to open, taking in the random blurs obscuring my vision. My mom's hand instantly flew away from my face as if she had been electrocuted. She blushed.

'Cammie, are you okay?'

I blinked away the sleep from my eyes and the room came into focus. I was in a hospital of some sort; it must have been inside Gallagher though because the wide windows conveyed the sun shining through the room.

I felt a pang of pain jolt through my head as I tried to prop myself up on the pillows.

'Easy squirt' Aunt Abby soothed as she pushed me back down. I smiled at the sound of her gentle voice.

'Aunt Abby' I rasped, my voice was rough and raw.

'I'm here squirt' she pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly.

She held me for a whole minute before she released me.

'Well this is where I leave' Aunt Abby shrugged. 'You know I don't do goodbye's…'

And I did. I knew. So I nodded.

'Where are you going?' my voice was slowly becoming less hoarse.

'I'm going to do some work with the CIA' she replied casually. _She's going to look for Catherine._

'Okay… but… be careful…' I stuttered.

'Course I will' Aunt Abby smiled. She shot me a wave before she turned and walked away.

I was alone with my mom and a sleeping Zach.

'How are you feeling?' My mom stammered.

I shrugged.

'Do you want me to bring you anything?'

I shook my head.

'I… was… thinking… I wanted to start tutoring you… myself'

This obviously wasn't a shock for me. I should have wanted nothing more than to spend time with my mom who I didn't remember, to get to know her again. But I didn't want to spend time with this woman who wanted the old me back, this woman who was like an annoying fly constantly buzzing around me.

_My mom had almost died._

'Okay, I'll do it' I shrugged. My mom beamed back at me… she looked beautiful when she smiled.

I drew my legs up to my stomach, accidently knocking Zach. I held my breath as he woke up.

'Cammie, are you okay?' He asked immediately. My mom shifted around awkwardly.

'I'll… check on you later' my mom stammered before she walked out the room.

'I'm fine' I answered Zach. 'What about you?' I asked suddenly concerned as I spotted the bandage around his head.

Zach grinned 'Never been better!'

I smiled back.

'So… did you hear what I said last night… before you collapsed?' Zach suddenly sounded embarrassed.

'No…' I lied. I was sure the head injury had caused Zach to say he loved me, he wouldn't want this new Cammie, this stranger.

'Oh' Zach suddenly seemed… disappointed. 'Don't worry, it wasn't important.

'Okay' I shrugged, my heart hammered against my chest. His words hurt.

I attempted to drag myself out of the bed.

'And where do you think you're going?'

A woman who I assumed to be a nurse pushed me back into the bed.

'My mom said I could leave' I lied smoothly.

'Really?' The nurse raised her eyebrows.

'Yeah, she's tutoring me' I shrugged.

'Okay, but you take it easy, you should be having at least a week of bed rest' the nurse moaned.

'I'm fine' I lied through gritted teeth. My head pounded painfully and my body throbbed but I forced myself out of bed and went to get changed into my uniform.

'Why did you lie about feeling fine?' Zach asked.

_Why did you say you loved me and then say it wasn't important?_

'I just need to get out of here' I muttered incoherently, tying my hair back into a high ponytail. I could have sworn I'd got even thinner.

'You don't look well' Zach continued.

The outline of Zach was blurry.

'I'm going to have breakfast' I pushed past him.

'Wait!' He grabbed my arm. He suddenly paused awkwardly.

'What Zach?' I sighed.

'What's wrong, are you mad at me?' He asked.

'No' I lied moodily.

'Well then, you should know that breakfast finished… five hours ago' Zach frowned at me and my haughty expression before he pushed past me and exited.

I blinked back the shock, almost as if I'd been slapped around the face. I'd never lost track of time before, I'd always been amazing at knowing the exact time… I had been sure it was eight in the morning.

I sighed and shrugged it off before I headed downstairs… for lunch.

'Oh Cammie! You look awful' Macey pointed out. 'I'll get some concealer on those dark circles under your eyes'

'Thanks Macey' I rolled my eyes.

'Have some lunch Cammie, you look even skinner than before' Liz shuffled along the bench to accommodate me.

'Thanks Liz' I smiled as I took a large bite of one of the cheese sandwiches.

'Hi Bex' I almost whispered. At first I thought she hadn't heard me, I thought she was going to ignore me… but then she smiled.

'Hi Cammie' She replied. 'I'm… I'm glad you're okay'

'Thanks' I smiled.

I had a good lunch. The throbbing pain in my head was pushed to the back of my mind as I listened to mindless chatter about boys and homework and for once my stomach felt full.

As we went back to the room I progressed to packing my bag for a days' worth of lessons. Then paused.

'What is it?' Liz asked urgently.

'I have to have tutoring with my mom' I replied flatly.

'I'm sure that will be great!' smiled Liz.

'Sure it will…' I lied.

()()()()

'You learnt how to kill a man with uncooked spaghetti when we were in Paris' my mom stated. 'Can you not remember that?'

'No I can't' I stated bluntly.

'But we practised every summer' my mom continued to drone on. I absent-mindedly began to doodle on the paper I was meant to be taking notes on.

'What are you drawing?' My mom asked suddenly.

'Nothing?' I questioned quizzically before letting out a gasp as I looked down at the notes I'd thought I'd been taking. Instead there were names jotted down the paper in a long line, my writing was not my untidy scrawl though… instead there was the most beautiful calligraphy.

'What have you written?' My mom tried peering over my shoulder. 'Did you remember something? Something about me?'

I totally lost my temper then. I didn't remember that my mom was just curious, that she was worried, and that she had lost her daughter. I didn't remember that she'd almost killed herself. So maybe that's why I yelled 'Just shut _up!'_

My mom took a step back.

'I'm tired of this!' I yelled as I scrunched up the paper I'd been writing on and shoved it into my jacket pocket. 'I can't remember, I won't remember, and I probably never will!'

My head throbbed impatiently and I couldn't tell if it was anger or a head injury that made me continue to shout at her. 'You think you've just lost a daughter, but I lost a mom too! No wonder I don't remember you, you're a mess, you flap around me all the time as if I'm a five year old, Aunt Abby is a better mom than you'll ever be. You're _not_ my mom!'

My mom's eyes filled with tears and I instantly regretted everything I'd said.

I opened my mouth to apologise but no words came out.

()()()()

_My mom almost died, my mom almost died, my mom almost died._

I was the worst daughter in history. Officially.

As I wondered back to my room that night after dinner I couldn't get what I'd said to my mom out of my head.

'Hey, Cammie, have you seen your mom? I need give her an assignment and…'

'No!' I snapped at the seventh former rudely. She quickly fled.

I sighed deeply. I hated who I was, I hated this girl I'd become, she wasn't Cammie.

**Review please; it honestly makes me so happy to read your reviews! Thanks!**


	13. Emotionally Scarred

**A/N: I'm actually quite proud of this chapter, it was a hard one to write as I wanted her to remember but I didn't want to be repetitive of the books, so I hope this chapter makes sense. I know a lot of you want Cammie to remember her mom but just hang on in there, she will soon. Also more Zammie in the next chapter, so don't worry! **

**And Christ, I've just realised how many reviews this story has… I can't thank you enough! Loving your reviews, shout out to 'KristaTsang' who actually said she cried at my story, you have no idea how happy that made me… (Not that you were crying, just that you liked it that much!) Thank you!**

**If you want me to read and review any of your stories (I might have already as I follow quite a few) but just let me know and I'll try to do it as a thank you for your time spent reading my story!**

'Cammie you look absolutely awful…' Macey trailed off as I sat in front of the mirror so she could plaster concealer under the dark circles beneath my eyes.

'To be honest Macey, I'm not feeling too great' I replied, my voice was a pained whisper.

I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror as Macey worked her magic with the makeup. It was tinted with a blur, almost like I had the worst headache in history. My eyelids drooped and my face was eerily pale but my cheeks were flushed bright red.

'Maybe we should take you to the nurse?' Liz suggested kindly.

'No thanks' I shook my head, ignoring the pain that shot through my head.

'How about your mom?' Bex suggested.

'No!' I demanded quickly.

The room swayed as I stood up and gripped onto the chest of draws.

'Is anyone else, like… boiling hot?' I asked, fanning myself with my hand.

'No… It's freezing in here' Bex actually shivered in her thick winter jumper.

'Maybe… maybe I should have a bath, might make me feel better' I muttered weakly.

My roommates threw each other anxious glances.

'Guys, I'm not going to drown y'know' I attempted to smile but it came out as more of a grimace.

'Well okay then…' Macey shrugged as I grabbed my pyjamas from my bed. The room swayed dangerously as I crossed the room.

'Woah!' Bex grabbed me as I stumbled on one of Liz's textbooks.

'You know… I'm really not feeling great' I whispered as I fell down onto the floor.

()()()()

I woke up. It was a beautiful day, the sunlight reflected my mood perfectly as I leapt out of bed with some kind of new found energy.

'Bex, Liz, Macey, get your lazy asses out of bed!' I cried. The voice surely wasn't mine though, it was too squeaky and confident… it was too happy.

'There's waffles for breakfast!' I reminded them. I glanced at Liz as she drew herself out of bed… except it wasn't Liz. Her hair was in a cute bob and her skin was bright red… almost like she'd been sunburnt, she looked so young.

'Come on guys' Liz joined me as I tried to get the others up. 'You know how stroppy Mr Solomon gets if we're late on our first day of term!'

()()()()

'Get out one of Liz's textbooks' Bex laughed at me as we ran. My hair flew around my face, but it was shorter than I'd ever remembered and blonder. I was panting for breathe but from my cries of joy I could tell we were having a great time.

I reached into my backpack and drew out a massive book.

'It's bloody heavy!' I giggled.

'Perfect!' Bex winked as she took it out my hand and then she flung it behind her, it hit the man that was chasing us square in the face, and he dropped like a stone.

Me and Bex laughed hysterically and she took my arm as we slowed down.

'We better get back to Gallagher, we totally aced that CoveOps test, Mr Solomon's going to love us!' Bex giggled again.

()()()()

'Make way!' Someone cried from behind me and I jumped in shock.

'Oh Macey, it's just you!' I cried happily as I flung my arms around her and about a million pounds worth of jewellery.

'Cammie, you should know better than to hug me on my first day of term, you know how uncomfortable my designer gear is, I want to get it off so I can say hello to you properly'

'Right Macey, sorry!' I grinned.

'Hey, I'll pay you a thousand dollars for those trainers…' Macey asked desperately.

'But… they were about ten dollars in the sale' I glanced down at my scuffed trainers.

'Please Cam, these heels are the most uncomfortable things to walk in… ever'

'No Macey' I smirked.

Macey swore and then winked at me as she undid her Louis Vuitton suitcase. She drew out the most gorgeous pair of ankle boots.

'Guess you won't want these then… they were a Christmas present but…'

'Those aren't… Jimmy Choo's are they?' I gasped.

'Yep!' Macey laughed.

'Okay deal!' I cried as I undid my trainers and Macey handed me the boots.

()()()()

'What's she saying?' I heard Macey's voice.

'She's muttering something about a suitcase and some shoes…' Liz replied.

Their voices were so distant I could hardly hear them.

'Is her mom on the way?' Liz asked.

'Yep, Bex ran to get her'

'What happened?' Liz asked concerned.

'I don't know, she just collapsed, and then starting shaking, she's still burning up like she has a fever or something…'

'Maybe she can hear us?' Liz suggested.

'Maybe…' Macey replied unconvinced. 'Cammie, can you hear me?'

My head throbbed and my body was so numb it didn't feel like mine. I groaned in agony at the pulsing pain that prevented me from speaking or opening my eyes.

I could feel myself drifting off again… but I welcomed it. It was a break from the pain and reality.

'Cammie, if you can hear us, stay awake!' Macey demanded.

But I was already gone.

()()()()

This memory wasn't the same as the others. It was more painful.

'Darling, are you okay?' A man's voice asked desperately.

'No!' I cried as I glanced down at the scrape on my knee.

The man lifted me gently. He drew the hair back out of my tiny face. I must only be about six years old.

'Maybe I'm not doing the right thing' He muttered sadly to himself.

I stopped my crying. I had to comfort this man, my pain didn't matter.

'Daddy, you always do the right thing' I gave him a weak smile.

'Maybe not this time…' my dad muttered as he wiped away the blood from my knee and put on a small plaster. 'I'm putting you in danger sweetie, daddy's a bad person'

'No!' I cried indignantly. My daddy was the best person I knew. 'Daddy, you could never do bad… Never'

'I promise I'll make this world better for you Cammie, I promise it will all be okay in the end… never forget that sweetie'

'I won't daddy' I smiled as I ran back to the playground.

()()()()

'Cammie, there's something I need to tell you, you need to promise me you won't…'

I tried to concentrate on the woman's words, I tried to focus on her face but I just couldn't, voices were waking me up from the memory. I was sure this woman was my mom, the one person I wanted to remember the most, I had to concentrate on her, and I had to remember.

()()()()

'No, No, No!' I cried loudly, trying to prevent the memory from ending.

'Squirt, I'm here!' My eyes snapped open at the mention of my nickname.

'That's it Cammie, just calm down, we're here' Liz soothed gently.

The pain in my head was gone; the throbbing of my body was more like a distant memory. Physically I'd never felt better, but emotionally… emotionally I'd never felt so much pain, so much loss.

I clutched at my stomach, trying to stop the pain that was like a blank hole of my memories. I wanted them back.

'Are you in pain?' My eyes focused on Aunt Abby's face.

'No' I assured her. _Not in the way you think_.

I struggled up onto my elbows and then sat up, still a little shaky.

I ran a hand over my clammy head and my fingers brushed against my cheeks. I quickly wiped away the tears.

'Are you sure you're not in pain?' Bex asked sceptically.

'No, honestly I'm not' I shot her a smile and then with a little help from Aunt Abby got up from the floor and collapsed onto my bed.

'So, what happened?' I asked.

Macey raised her eyebrows. 'You should know… You just collapsed and luckily Bex caught you, then you just started shaking and you were burning up…'

'You were muttering things too' Liz whispered.

'What did I say?' I asked, scared of the answer.

Liz suddenly shivered. 'You… you were muttering something about Textbooks and suitcases and waffles and…'

'Okay Liz, we get the point' Aunt Abby interrupted impatiently.

'… You also said… Dad, don't leave me!...' Liz shivered again.

Aunt Abby looked at me sharply.

'You remembered didn't you squirt' Aunt Abby wiped my hair away from my clammy forehead.

'What did you remember?' My mom suddenly stepped forwards; I hadn't even noticed she was there. I wanted nothing more than to tell her I remembered her, but memories aren't something you can just make up and lie about.

'Why are you here?' I asked Aunt Abby, desperate for a change of subject.

'I was doing some work in Roseville… I came as soon as I got a call from Rachel saying you'd collapsed… two hours ago…' _Catherine's in Roseville._

'I've been out for two hours?' I gasped.

Aunt Abby nodded. 'You remembered didn't you?' She repeated. I knew she wouldn't let this go.

'I remembered a little' I admitted. My body tensed as my mom sat beside me. Aunt Abby noticed.

'Do you want to talk to me about it squirt… we can talk about it in private if you like and…'

She paused as she saw my expression… I was smiling. The smile was so foreign on my face, I hadn't smiled in a long, long time but I couldn't help it. I'd remembered.

I was already off the bed and I flew my arms around Bex. I was crying, but for once I wasn't sad, I was happy.

'What's got into you?' asked Bex a little sceptically.

I giggled. 'You threw Liz's textbook at a man, you knocked him out and we aced out CoveOps mission and…'

Bex was suddenly laughing too and her arms were tightly around me, soon her tears were dripping onto my shoulder.

'So that's where my textbook went!' Cried Liz indignantly.

'Liz!' I cried happily, flinging myself at her. 'Thanks for helping me wake up the others on the first day of term so we could have waffles for breakfast!' I laughed.

'Oh… no problem, I know how much you like waffles' Liz smiled.

'Oh, so you don't remember me then' I heard Macey's voice from behind me.

I detached myself from Liz and turned to face Macey. I grinned.

'I hope you still have those trainers that you gave me a thousand dollars for'

Macey's mouth turned into a little 'o' shape and then she threw her arms around me laughing. 'I do actually, I wear them all the time when I'm with my parents, and it drives them mad'

Of course, at this point I should have known the happy reunion wouldn't last, I should have known all good things come to an end.

**Review please; it honestly makes me so happy to read your reviews! Thanks!**


	14. The Fall

**A/N: So a little Zammie in here, more to come in the next chapter. So after this my main plot idea is obviously Catherine escaping and so I need some plot ideas please, if you could let me know your ideas in the reviews that would be great! (Also don't worry I am NOT, EVER, going to kill off any of the characters… I could never do that).**

**Also… I HAVE REACHED 100 REVIEWS… WHAT?! That is SO crazy! So thanks to every one of you that reviewed!**

'Did you remember… anything else?' My mom pushed her way out of the shadows. Her hand fluttered nervously in front of her face.

'…No' I whispered, suddenly fascinated by the hot chocolate stain on the floor. I stared down at it.

'Oh, okay' my mom blurted out before she made a quick exit out of the room. The rest of us descended into silence.

'It's okay squirt, I'll go talk to her' Aunt Abby patted me weakly on the back before she dragged herself out of the room.

It suddenly didn't matter that I now remembered my best friends, it mattered more that I didn't remember my mom.

'Maybe if you tried to remember…' Liz began to suggest.

'I already tried' I interrupted. 'I was about to have a memory about her I think, but then I woke up'

'It will come soon' Macey smiled.

'Maybe' I replied. I highly doubted it.

()()()()

That night I couldn't sleep. I had a feeling it wasn't because I had a head injury, or that I couldn't remember my own mom, or even the fact that Liz's audio book was playing too loudly… it was something else… something I couldn't figure out.

I hauled myself out of bed, more awake than ever. Since I'd collapsed earlier it seemed like my internal clock had reset itself because I knew it was two in the morning.

I threw on Macey's Prada dressing gown and tiptoed out of the room.

'Are you sure you should be up after what happened earlier?'

I spun at the sound of Zach's voice.

'You heard about that?' I asked with a sigh.

He pointed to himself smugly and whispered 'Spy'

'Of course' I rolled my eyes and carried on walking.

'Hey where are going?'

'I'm not sure…' I suddenly stopped dead, realising that I really didn't know.

He turned me to face him. 'Would it kill you to wear a t-shirt?' I muttered.

Zach grinned sheepishly. 'Don't tell me you don't enjoy it'

I turned my back on him again.

'Hey, sorry, old habits' he muttered as he grabbed my arm to stop me walking away.

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'You used to love my sarcasm' Zach shrugged.

I smiled suddenly. 'No I didn't'

Zach smiled back. 'Dammit, I thought you'd fall for it'

'I may be an amnesiac but I'm not stupid'

'I know' Zach whispered as he pulled me in closer to him.

'Are you feeling okay?' Zach gently touched the bruise on my temple.

'I'm…' I paused, not really sure what I was. 'Fine… I'm fine'

A lump formed in my throat as I remembered him telling me he loved me, and then him saying it didn't matter.

'What… what was it you said that night when I passed out?' I asked carefully.

I expected Zach to look away, I expected him to play dumb, I didn't expect him to look me straight in the eyes and say 'you know what I said, don't you?'

'Yes' I whispered, knowing the truth was written all over my face. 'I also remember you said it was no big deal and…'

Zach shut me up with a kiss, which according to Macey is one of the cutest things a guy can do.

'I only said it because… I didn't think you felt the same way'

I smiled. 'You know I do, whether I'm the old Cammie or the new Cammie, I know I loved you… well, love you'

'Stop saying that, there is no old Cammie, there is no new Cammie, there's just… Cammie'

And then he kissed me again, but this time it was longer, and even better.

'You're shivering, you should get back to your room, you must be freezing'

'No' I argued. 'I'm fine, I…'

'I'll be around tomorrow you know' Zach smirked. 'I know you can't get enough of me but…'

'Ok, ok I'm going!' I huffed.

And so with one last kiss I departed back to my room… but I didn't go inside.

The happiness didn't last long. Suddenly I was filled with concern… but I didn't know what for, it was like I had another person inside me, telling me I had to walk. So I walked.

I stopped as I came to a window that overlooked my mom's balcony. To my surprise she was standing on it, she was only in her pyjamas but it didn't seem like she was feeling the cold. She was crying, her head was in her hands as she stared absent-mindedly at the floor.

And then she stood up straight.

And then she leaned forwards.

And then she climbed onto the rail.

My heart stopped and I was suddenly running. Although I'd felt like two people for the past few weeks right now I felt just like one person, like Cammie, as I ran to my mom's office to stop her from killing herself.

Although I was sprinting I knew I wasn't being fast enough, although I was skidding round corners I wasn't cutting enough time, I wasn't being fast enough.

I gasped for breath but I didn't stop to breathe as I threw open the door of my mom's office.

_I'm too late, I'm too late, I'm too late._

But I wasn't. I stopped to stare as my mom's body swayed dangerously in the breeze, the wind the only thing pushing her back and stopping her falling to her death.

I couldn't startle her; I had to go slowly and quietly. I embraced my inner chameleon as I swept across the room.

Her eyes stayed fixed in front of her, her body stayed too dangerously close to the edge. I had no choice but to join her.

She gaped at me in shock as I climbed onto the railing next to her.

'Get down from here now Cammie' my mom demanded.

'You first' I challenged. Her eyes filled with tears.

'You're better off without me' my mom chocked.

But I could hardly hear what she was saying because my head was throbbing again and my body was shaking. _Not now, please not now_.

'Cammie!' I heard my mom's cry but at the same time I was somewhere else.

()()()()

'Your dad's not coming home, he's never coming home' my mom's voice was choked and low as if she hoped the words wouldn't reach me. But they did. We held each other and we cried. We cried for days. We may have stopped crying on the outside, but inside we were always crying.

But it didn't matter, because we were crying together.

()()()()

'We don't have to do this if you don't want to' my mom reassured me.

'No, I think I'll like it here' I smiled up at my mom, the Gallagher mansion framing her. How could she be so beautiful?

'Okay well, you know I'll always be here… if you ever need me?'

'Of course I do mom' I grinned.

()()()()

I felt like a different person as I stood ontop of a tall bulding. I was so skinny and weak, I knew this must be the new Cammie, and I knew this memory must have happened when I had gone missing.

I glanced down and to my horror I was standing too close to the edge but I knew I would have to jump, the circus music was too loud in my ears, it pounded in my head too hard.

'Cammie, come this way, please'

My mother's voice called me back. She shouldn't be here. Maybe she'd leave if I jumped.

So I did.

The air rushed past me so fast that it burned me, but it didn't last for long. A long hand was grabbing my skinny arm but it didn't stop my body from grating against the side of the building.

I cried out in pain.

'I've got you kiddo, I've got you'

'Let go!' I screamed at her. 'I need to die, I have to do this, let me go!'

I felt myself slide out of her grasp. I was too heavy for her… and so I dropped.

I'd never felt so much pain before. It was too much.

'Don't worry Cammie, we'll… look after you' A malicious voice whispered in my ear and I then realised I hadn't hit the ground I'd been caught in someone else's arms.

Although I hadn't known it at the time I knew now, it was Catherine.

My mom's voice was screaming after me, she was sobbing uncontrollably, but I relaxed in my saviours arms. This person would take care of me, she would look after me, it was going to be fine.

I'd been so naïve.

()()()()

The air was whizzing past me again, it was burning me and in shock horror I realised this wasn't a memory… this was reality now.

'I remembered!' I called out to no one in particular. 'I remember' I croaked.

'Mom, you saved my life, on the building, you saved my life!' I cried but I got no reply, everything was still a blur of colour and wind whipping around my face.

I was falling, and the ground was rushing to meet me.

**Review please + suggest ideas; it honestly makes me so happy to read your reviews! Thanks!**


	15. Eyes

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update, I'm literally snowed under with school work so it makes updating really hard.**

**LOVING your reviews, please remember to review if you have a spare second. Thanks!**

Someone was gripping onto my hand so tight I was surprised it wasn't broken. Someone was pulling my arm up so strongly that I was surprised it hadn't been yanked out of its socket. Most of all, I was surprised someone was holding onto me. I should have been dead.

'Cammie, Cammie wake up now!'

As I heard my mom's voice coming from above me I totally thought I'd been dreaming. Or going mad.

'I remember' I whispered again, feeling like I had to say it to make it true.

'I know kiddo, I know, but right now you need to open your eyes!' My mom's voice was one of sheer panic and so I forced myself to open my eyes.

My heart stopped as I took it the sight. I was hanging off the building… mid-fall, my moms hand was wrapped firmly around my wrist. Which was fine… except, she was hanging off the building too… and her hand was in Zach's.

'Cammie don't panic' My mom must have seen the terror in my eyes.

'He can't hold both of us' I whispered.

'Don't say that Cammie, don't…' My mom began to fluster.

'What happened?!' I demanded.

'I'm so sorry Cammie, this is all my fault, I…' My mom began to cry.

'Mom, listen, just tell me what happened!' I tried again.

'I was going to jump, but then you fainted and fell and I tried to lean over and I caught you but I fell too and Zach caught us and…' I let my mom launch into an explanation.

I looked up into Zach's eyes and I could see the pain and determination on his face.

'You can't take both our weight' I mouthed to him.

'Don't you even think about it Cammie, don't you even think about…' His voice was raised and panicky. He panted for breathe as he spoke, still gripping onto my mom's arm.

'Pull my mom up' I breathed deeply as I mouthed the words to him.

His voice was in sheer desperation now. 'No Cammie!'

I looked down and noticed the balcony below. It jutted out just far enough to break my fall, if I landed on it and didn't go hurtling past it down five stories to my death.

I let go.

The wind howled in my ears but it wasn't as loud as Zach's shouting and my mom's screaming.

The floor rushed up to meet me, I was just thankful it was the floor of the balcony and not the cold concrete of the ground floor, still, that didn't stop it being painful.

'I'm fine!' I yelled up towards my mom and Zach through gritted teeth as I tried to concentrate on the adrenaline rather than the pain. 'Just pull my mom up!'

I watched as Zach hauled my mom over the balcony rail. My mom collapsed onto the floor just as Madam Dabney rushed out to help her.

'Just stay here for a minute' Madam Dabney gently instructed my mom. I breathed a sigh of relief. She was safe.

'Cammie your injured' Zach's voice made me jump and as the adrenaline began to wear off I suddenly realised the way my body was limply laid across the floor.

'I'm fine' I croaked as I struggled to sit up.

'No, don't move' Zach ordered sternly as he ran towards me.

I clutched at my rib cage finally feeling the searing pain. My fingers brushed against blood.

'You hit the rail as you fell' Zach told me as he sat down beside me. 'Just stay still until the medical staff get here, they're looking after your mom at the moment'

'Is she okay?' I suddenly tried to stand up at the mention of my mom having to be looked after but grimaced at the pain that shot through my body.

Zach gently pushed me back down immediately. 'She's fine' Zach reassured me. 'Just a little shaken up'

He pulled my body against his and began stroking his hands gently through my hair. I leaned against him gratefully feeling the pain subside a little.

'You'll get blood on your t-shirt' I smiled.

'It's fine, I'm quite well known for hardly ever wearing one' Zach smirked.

'You saved our lives…' I whispered.

'No' Zach pulled away a little and shook his head violently. 'I was literally about to drop you both, if you hadn't have let go you would both be dead right now' Zach shivered.

'I guess we all helped a little then' I smiled.

'How are you feeling?' Zach turned me to face him and he eyed the blood suspiciously on the front of my shirt as I began to say I felt fine.

'I've had worse' I worded carefully.

Zach nodded understandingly and pulled me in closer.

'I'm sorry I didn't find you, when you went missing'

I frowned at him. 'It was my fault, what's done is done, we just need to move on… I think I kind of have now'

'Good' he smiled thankfully.

()()()()

'Oh Cammie, I'm getting a little tired of seeing you in the medical room' the nurse tutted as she took in my bedraggled body.

'Sorry' I grinned sheepishly as Zach carefully helped me up.

I leaned against Zach for support as I carefully made my way to the hospital wing.

'Cammie are you okay?!'

My face paled at the sight of my mom's frail body running towards me… but something in her eyes calmed me, they shone brightly, filled with happiness, almost like her life was making sense again.

Suddenly I didn't care about my injuries; I didn't care about the arguments between me and my mom, I just needed to hold her.

'Mom I missed you' I sobbed into her shoulder and as I said the words I knew they were true.

'Oh Cammie, you have no idea how much I missed you' My mom was suddenly sobbing too, but I could tell she wasn't sad, I could tell she was happy.

'Come on Rachel, it's late, you can talk with Cammie in the morning' Madam Dabney pushed impatiently.

'No I need to…' My mom started, sill gripping onto me.

'Mom it's fine' I reassured her. 'We'll talk in the morning, I promise' I smiled.

'Okay kiddo, I'll be in my room if you need me' She gave me one last hug before she left with Madam Dabney.

Before I had a chance to blink Zach's arm was around me. 'Come on, you need to be seen by the nurse'

I sighed and let Zach lead me to the hospital.

By the time I'd been poked, prodded and bandaged all I wanted was to sleep but by the time they'd decided it was safe for me to sleep all I wanted was to think.

'I'll be back in the morning' Zach told me as he was shoved out of the door by the nurse.

'Okay' I smiled weakly at him, but he was already gone.

I couldn't sleep. The bed was too springy, the pillow too firm and I had way too much to think about.

It must have been at least five in the morning by the time I finally allowed myself to sleep.

()()()()

My head ached and my eyes stung, I felt like I had been asleep for no more than five minutes… and my internal clock agreed with me.

I looked around trying to see the disturbance that must have woken me up but instead of an object there was a face. The structure of the face was thin and frail but the eyes were ones that I recognised, ones that made my heart pound against my chest, the eyes of Catherine.

**Review please + suggest ideas; it honestly makes me so happy to read your reviews! Thanks!**


	16. Future

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update, I was so stuck on this story. So… this is it! I was just going to leave it and not give it an ending but I just couldn't do that; I hate to have things unfinished. So even if the ending's crap then at least it has one! Hope it's not too bad!**

**LOVING your reviews, please remember to review if you have a spare second. Thanks!**

Catherine's hand clamped over my mouth with the firmness of a vice.

'Don't. Say. A. Word.' She whispered slowly. I felt the cold metal of a gun against my temple.

I tried to sit myself up against the pillows but Catherine shoved me firmly in my stomach and I felt the stabbing pain against my rib cage. I cried out in agony, reaching out to clutch my stomach at the pain now burning through my broken ribs.

'I told you to stay still' she smirked. 'If you'd just told me the names, then none of this would have happened!'

My newly almost-healed mind instantly remembered the names she wanted, the names she needed, the names she'd leave me in peace for.

Catherine must have seen the hesitation and remembrance in my eyes. 'It's not too late you know, if you tell me now then I can simply walk away from here and-'

'No!' I pulled her hand that was suffocating me away from my face as I spluttered out the word. The gun instantly pressed harder against my temple and I felt my blood run cold.

I didn't know what Catherine wanted with the names but I knew she certainly wasn't just going to write them in her diary and forget about them for a year. Catherine wanted to kill.

Before I had a chance to regret my decision I let out a high pitched scream. It echoed around the room so loudly it made me grimace.

I took in the horrified expression of Catherine and knew I'd done the right thing, people would hear that and come running… I hoped… until suddenly I felt hard metal slam against my skull. I was knocked off the bed, falling limply to the floor, gasping for breath as I tried to get my head around what had happened. My head span and I was too weak to get up. I placed my hand shakily to my head and felt the pool of blood. The room was spinning in front of me and I willed myself not to pass out.

'Don't you dare pass out on me' Catherine hissed. I gasped as I felt the cold metal against my chest.

'All I need to know are the names!'

I felt the room begin to come into focus again, the pounding in my head eased slightly and I breathed deeply, gritting my teeth through the sharp pain in my rips and the aching pain in my head.

'The names!' Catherine screamed at me again, this time she didn't seem to care about how loud she was being. The only thing on her mind was the names she needed; the only thing on my mind was the gun pressed against my beating heart.

'Just tell her the names Cammie' I staggered back a little, even Catherine's gun slipped from her hand a little at the sound of my mom's voice. Her shock didn't last for long though; in a second the gun was instantly back against my heart.

'Please Cammie, just tell her the names, I can't lose you again!' My mom pleaded, carefully taking a step closer.

'No!' I shook my head. 'You're not getting the names!' I spoke directly to Catherine now.

'Cammie you should listen to your mom' Catherine snarled at me.

'Please… Cammie' I finally looked over at my mom. I expected to see her eyes brimming with tears, her face the same as in my flashback when I'd been kidnapped, but something was different.

'Cammie!' Catherine forced me to pull my eyes back to her vicious face.

'Names!' She screeched again.

'Cammie, listen, just give her the names!' My mom pleaded again. I looked back at her and finally saw the emotion that was plastered over her face. She needed me to trust her, she was pleading with me to do what she wanted… and then I realised. She may have been left broken and scarred, she may be living a life of regret and guilt, but she had a plan; she was being a spy.

'Okay' I looked down at the floor in defeat. After saying no for so long it felt like a waste of time .

'The names… they… well…' I delayed it for a while, the words felt forced on my lips. I finally sighed deeply and let the names escape my mouth. I muttered them to the floor; unable to look Catherine in the eyes as she absorbed my every word, every letter.

I finally looked up and glared at her in contempt at the smugness on her face.

I felt a shiver go down my spine as her hand hovered over the trigger.

I didn't hesitate to think about what I was doing. Catherine didn't need me anymore, she would kill me. I heard my mom gasp and I realised her plan hadn't considered that fact.

Instantly I kicked my leg out, remembering a manoeuvre I'd seen a girl do in P&E, maybe one I'd even known. The gun flew out her hand. I saw her debating in her head whether to dive after it but as quick as a flash it was in my mom's hand and pointing directly to her.

'Just get out' My mom muttered in disgust.

Catherine didn't stop to argue, she leapt up and ran.

I instantly felt the anger.

'Mom, you just let her get away, she knows the names!' I yelled across the room in despair.

'No Cammie, listen…' My mom came to sit beside me and I strained to hear the voices that as a spy my mom was probably hearing crystal clear.

'Is that Catherine screaming?!' I asked in disbelief.

My mom smiled and pulled me close against her as she smoothed my hair, something that instantly felt familiar to me.

'I would never let her get away with the names that you and your father fought so hard to defend' she smiled sadly. 'At least I still have one of you after it'

'I'm… sorry… for everything I put you through' I looked down at the floor.

'No I'm sorry, but Cammie you have to understand, when we went looking for you we looked everywhere, half the school alumni were out looking for you… I guess we just looked in the wrong places…'

'Or Catherine was clever and took me to all the right places' I corrected her sadly.

'Or that' my mom agreed.

I heard another frantic scream from Catherine out in the corridor.

'What if she gets away again?' I shivered.

'Cammie, there is half the CIA out there, she won't be getting away again' my mom finally smiled.

'And… what shall I do about the names… I mean what are they…?'

'Just leave it to us now Cammie; just leave it to the adults'

I nodded in relief.

'Look, I would love nothing more than for you to stay with us, for us to train you up to be a spy again, but I realised this isn't about you and if you want to go back to Roseville High… then I won't stop you' My mom looked to the floor.

I remembered Josh's desperate advance on me and shivered at the memories of Roseville High. I thought about my memories of Gallagher and suddenly smiled at the friends I hadn't realised I'd had, Zach and finally my mom who I simply had to get to know again.

'Of course I'll stay here' I grinned.

My mom pulled me in closer and then suddenly held me back.

'Sorry, I forgot you'd been injured, are you okay?'

'I'm fine' I replied on instinct and then held my hand up to my head and winced as I felt the sticky feel of blood.

'No' My mom looked at me guiltily. 'It doesn't look like you are'

I looked up at my mom in sudden worry.

'Please don't stop me staying here mom, I do really want to stay and be a spy again' I pleaded.

'I'm too selfish to let you go Cammie, don't worry' She smiled as she helped me up gently.

I finally heard Catherine's screams fade into the distance and then footsteps approaching.

I stepped backwards on instinct, suddenly worried she was back.

'It's fine it's just Mr Solomon' my mom reassured me. I sighed in relief.

'She's gone' Mr Solomon paced into the room followed by Zach.

'Oh dear, I didn't realise you were injured Cammie' Mr Solomon eyed me worriedly.

'I'm…' I started to say fine but he raised his eyebrows sceptically. 'I'll be okay' I corrected. Mr Solomon nodded in approval.

Zach pushed out from behind Mr Solomon. 'Cammie I'm so sorry I wasn't there!'

'It's fine!' I reassured the forlorn Zach.

'Here, let me help!' Zach shrugged off his shirt and held it against my head.

'Thanks…' I stared at him in disbelief.

My mom glanced at us sceptically, probably wondering if Zach removing his shirt to mop up my blood was really necessary.

'Let's go Rachel; they'll need us down at Langley to give statements' Mr Solomon pushed.

'Okay' My mom agreed and looked at me apologetically.

'It's fine mom, go, I'll be fine here' I smiled at her.

'I'll be back as soon as I can… and then we'll talk properly, everything will go back to normal'

She left with Mr Solomon, I glared at him as he gave me a quick wink. 'Just to let you know, the nurses will be here in a few minutes' He grinned and left.

Zach pulled me gently to the bed and I collapsed on it gratefully.

'Are you sad Zach?' I asked guiltily.

Zach frowned at me in confusion.

'About… your… mom' I asked shakily.

'Of course not' Zach shook off my question. I looked at him questionably, determined to not let him suffer in silence.

Zach sighed. 'How could I be sad about a woman who kidnapped you? Who almost killed you?' he shuddered.

'But she's your mom?'

'No' Zach replied defiantly. 'She's not, maybe in blood, but that doesn't matter when I want nothing to do with her'

'Are you sure?'

Zach suddenly smiled. 'I don't care about her Cammie, only you'

Zach's lips were suddenly crushing against mine and I leaned into towards him, enjoying his warm breath.

'Urm, excuse me'

Me and Zach leapt apart.

I blushed deeply as the nurse stood in front of us. Zach just smirked.

'I need to examine Cammie' The nurse looked away, obviously embarrassed.

'Right…' Zach smirked.

'Don't you dare leave me here' I warned him.

The nurse rolled her eyes but she let Zach stay as she did a thorough examination of me.

'No permanent damage, just needs lots of rest' she told me.

'Oh, I'll make sure she rests' Zach grinned at the nurse and she looked away again, probably still embarrassed.

'Right, well you can go if you promise to take it easy'

I nodded viciously, determined not to spend a minute longer in the hospital wing.

()()()()()

'Come on Cammie, you can do better than that!' Bex yelled at me as me and Zach sparred in P&E.

'But I'm exhausted!' I panted in defeat.

'Look Cammie, It's fine, rest' Zach smiled guiltily at me. 'You can try and win against me tomorrow' He smirked.

Suddenly I felt a great wave of determination.

'Not likely!' I cried as I caught him in surprise and pinned my knees firmly against his chest.

'Nice one!' He panted.

'Woohoo! Go Cam!' Bex cried.

It was my turn to smirk.

I got up off of Zach and helped him up.

'Okay Cammie, I've seen enough, you can go back to the senior class now' The P&E teacher who was watching smiled.

'Can we go somewhere tonight?' I asked Zach after class. 'I feel like we haven't had any time together'

'Of course' Zach agreed immediately.

()()()()()

The P&E barn at night was kind of like our place now, although in the past few weeks we'd both been so busy with exams and finals that it had been practically impossible to see Zach, especially as I'd had so much catching up to do.

It had been totally worth it though, it hadn't taken long for me to catch up and I found that with most of my subjects I already knew the answers; they were just in the back of my mind.

'Is everything okay with your mom?' Zach questioned politely.

I nodded and smiled. 'We get on great now; she asked if you wanted to come to dinner with us on Sunday?'

'That would be great' Zach nodded.

'I don't feel like I have a past Cammie now' I admitted to Zach. 'I feel like I never left'

'Same' Zach grinned. 'The past is your present now Cammie, you're back'

And I knew I wasn't a past Cammie anymore… or a present Cammie. I was just Cammie. And I liked it.

'You know you may have to have Goode as your surname again one day' He smiled at me.

'That would be strange' I shivered, remembering all of the bad memories that had a habit of creeping up on me at the worst of times.

'Well I guess we could always keep your name Morgan' Zach looked down at the floor.

I shook my head viciously. 'No, I'd want my last name to be Goode'

Zach eyed me sceptically. 'Really?'

'Of course!' I exclaimed. 'But maybe we should wait until after the exams and finals and end of year prom and graduation and…'

'Okay, Okay I get the point' Zach laughed.

'One day though…' I whispered. 'When the time is right'

'Deal' Zach agreed smiling and he pulled me against his chest. I closed my eyes contently.

My last name really was going to be Goode now, it didn't seem so strange anymore and for once I knew that the future didn't just hold the bad; it had some good to give too.

**Review please; it honestly makes me so happy to read your reviews! Thanks!**


End file.
